Grandma is a Writer

Loss of a Loved One

2012-01-23T08:08:00.003-06:00

I realize this is a delicate subject. And I want to say that I would like to offer perspective that may be helpful and that I hope it doesn't sound critical or judgmental in any way. I offer it in hopes that you might prayerfully receive some insight that may make a difference in your life.

Generally when we lose a loved one, that person becomes the entire focus of our thoughts and actions, sometimes to the exclusion of many much more important things. The reason I'm even thinking about this is a result of reading Stephen R. Covey's book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." In his chapter on "Begin with the End in Mind," he talks about discovering the center of our focus, from which we find balance and harmony in our lives. Covey cites several examples of the kinds of centers we may focus on. I believe these are all dynamic rather than static and that we can be focusing on one or more at one time and when we least expect it, we discover that our center of focus has changed completely.

So let's explore what might happen when we lose a loved one. If there were unresolved issues with that person, we will probably find ourselves watching mental "reruns." Those "reruns" can sap us of a great deal of emotional energy. And that usually also results in our having less physical energy. Even the most mundane chores may seem like insurmountable obstacles. And we find it difficult to escape those "reruns" because there is no more time to resolve that unresolved issue or issues.

Sometimes a husband and wife have not been close - one may have offended the other and there is a lack of forgiveness on the part of the offended one. I have met people who have been so upset with their spouse that they wished them dead. Then if the spouse dies, they experience an enormous burden of guilt. Since there is no way of resolving the conflict now that the other person is gone, that person begins to occupy the "center" of focus of the spouse who is still living.

The same thing can happen between a parent and a child. Perhaps there were harsh words and then one dies before resolution and restitution can happen.

Perhaps the relationship was one of co-dependence and the living party in that relationship is completely overwhelmed by responsibilities they had depended upon the other for. The living person may be angry at the other for dying.

Maybe the circumstances of death were particularly tragic. The loss may be magnified by this. The person left to live his or her life without the other may play "scripts" over and over in anger at God or at whoever they perceive may have been responsible for the tragic death. Often they blame themselves.

There are many other possible circumstances that could cause a person who has suffered the loss of a loved one to place that person in the center of focus of their lives, usually without realizing it or intending to do so.

I believe there is power in understanding the dynamic of what may be happening to you. If you are in such a situation, it would be helpful to read books or listen to recordings of others telling their experiences and how they got past the pain and the overwhelming feeling of loss that never seems to go away.

When we lost our son without even knowing what might have happened to him, I experienced that pain and loss and could not imagine ever getting past it and living a normal life again. Our book tells the miraculous story of how God healed my heart with a healing so deep, it amazed even me. Perhaps reading, Aloha is Forever would help you.

In any case, to get back to the center of focus that brings your life into balance and harmony is a goal worth fighting for - unless, of course, you love being at the center of a pity party for the rest of your life.

This same principle applies to a multitude of circumstances, not just loss of a loved one. It may be loss of a job, a home, divorce, a major disappointment, an unwise decision, anything that has come into your life to claim center position and get you focusing on something you cannot go back and change.

Even though I understand and try to implement these principles, I find myself occasionally falling into the victim trap. It's helpful to me to have something that will jog my thinking and enable me to recognize what is happening. I hope that perhaps it will be helpful to you, too.

Focus

2012-01-17T10:07:00.005-06:00

I've been reading Stephen R. Covey's book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and it has been giving me plenty of food for thought. In fact, after reading a few pages the other day about identifying your "center" in the chapter titled, "Begin with the End in Mind," it really got me thinking! What is my center? And even more importantly, how does focusing on the wrong thing or things impact my life and the lives of those around me?

I think I can honestly say that for the greater part of my life, Christ has been my center of focus. But there have been times when I have allowed other things to creep into that central position. I'm sure there have been times when I've allowed a particular person (usually a perceived enemy), money, possessions, physical location, the opinions of others, jealousy, my family, work, etc to occupy that center of focus. It's a subtle thing! And when it happens decisions are made that are later regretted, time is lost that could have been used in much more productive and helpful pursuits and life even at times seems to fall into general disarray.

So I'm thankful when God allows something to come into my life that jerks my focus back onto Jesus Christ, the living Word of God. Life just seems to make a whole lot more sense that way!

How about you? Have you ever read Stephen Covey's book? Did it help you determine who or what is the center of your world?

Quotable Quotes

2012-01-07T11:55:00.002-06:00

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Let it Snow!

2011-12-20T00:42:00.000-06:00

OK, I'm going to be brutally honest! I grew up in Wisconsin and Christmas and snow always went together kind of like salt and pepper. We spent our December days dreaming of a white Christmas and most years we were not disappointed. The magic of snowfall and the quiet crispness of an evening under freshly fallen snow was something I treasured. It never seemed quite as cold when the earth was blanketed with snow.

Fast forward to my first Christmas away from home. I was in southern Mexico, at a jungle training camp. Even though jungle sounds hot, it was quite chilly - no heat, thatch roof hut, etc. That first year wasn't so bad, nor was the second one. That second year I was newly married and the novelty of being a honeymooner hadn't worn off yet. So the fact that Christmas came and went without snow didn't bother me too much.

Fast forward again to our first Christmas in Brazil. This was really far from home and absolutely far from anything remotely resembling snow. Now for my confession...I don't know whether I missed my immediate family more, the snow more or whether it was that all the traditions that were part of Christmas had been ripped away, but my first several Christmases in Brazil were marked by profound homesickness and times of tears and sadness. If I heard "White Christmas" or "Jingle Bells" or "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" I would go into a tailspin of homesickness. If I had the option, I would turn those tunes off! Perhaps it had something to do with being the second oldest of 8 children which meant that I had a significant part to play in making Christmas a fun time of the year for the rest of my siblings. In any case, I hate to admit that it took me many, many years to separate Christmas and snow and to begin to enjoy Christmas in the tropics with improvised Christmas trees made of "palm branch" and 85 degree weather.

We (our little family) began to make our own traditions. Over time, one of our favorites was to go swimming and boating on Christmas Day! Being all together on Christmas was a high priority. The last Christmas we spent together with John, we were in Dallas, TX and it snowed. I can see in my mind's eye, the delight of all three kids plus their dad, romping in the snow as it fell, building a snowman, throwing snowballs - it was all such a novelty for my "jungle" kiddos.

I still have a soft spot in my heart for snow at Christmas time, but not enough to make the trek to Wisconsin or even Iowa and risk having to drive in a snowstorm. But Christmas is far more about treasuring special times with those who are closest and dearest to me - and even making new memories and traditions. And it's all about celebrating the baby, Emmanuel - God with us - who makes it possible for us to be with God for all eternity.

What are your memories of Christmas and snow? I'd love to have you share them.

Who Are You Mentoring?

2011-12-04T15:44:00.000-06:00

Are you passing on your values to the next generation? And are they passing them on to their offspring?

There is much to be said for having mentors and being a mentor. One of the greatest joys we can experience is summed up in the 3rd epistle of John in the Bible. Verse 4 says, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." The apostle John is talking about spiritual children in this case, but it applies to physical children as well.

Nothing encourages us more than to watch our children walking in integrity, wholeness, uprightness, dignity, loving God and His laws and ways, etc.

As we searched for our middle son, John, after he disappeared in the Kohala on the Big Island of Hawaii, one of his colleagues told us about a conversation she had had with John not too long before his hike. During that conversation she had asked him whether he was happy about his upbringing or whether he wished he had not been raised as a "missionary kid.". She told us that his answer was an unequivocal, "I loved my upbringing and I would like to be just like my parents and do just what they are doing." From the way she told us, I think his response must have surprised her although it certainly didn't surprise us.

Some people, looking at the fact that we took our children into Indian villages, exposed them to danger and disease, not to mention hardships of every kind, taught them God's Word, expected them to obey us, instilled both a love and fear of God in them - yes, some might criticize us for being too controlling or too heavy-handed with them. In the midst of the circumstances of life we tried to pass on through our mentoring, a sense of purpose and calling that transcends difficulties and develops faith that produces character.

And each of our 3 children came out of that "mentoring" and "discipling" experience both thankful and grateful for it. And it gives us great joy to see them impacting others around them, praying with others, giving them godly counsel, speaking the truth in love to those who will hear it.

Our spiritual children have even greater and more far-reaching impact. In fact, we have no idea of the impact they are having all around the world! We have a vast number of spiritual offspring scattered throughout the world, most of whom we will only meet when we all gather for the wedding banquet our bridegroom, Jesus, is preparing for us. I say that, not to our glory or praise, but to His. He is able to take common ordinary folks, full of flaws and shortcomings and use us anyway to accomplish His purposes. And for that we are deeply humbled and profoundly grateful.

Who are you mentoring and how are you doing it? What kind of heritage are you passing on?

Anyone Can be Thankful - Or Can They?

2011-11-23T06:00:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving is always a bittersweet time for us. It was on Thanksgiving Day 12 years ago that our son, John left to hike across the Kohala mountains on the northeastern tip of the Big Island of Hawaii. It was just another Thanksgiving Day and we of course, joined with our extended family in giving thanks. Ho-hum....

John even expressed in his own words all of the things he was thankful for. This is what he wrote in his journal 6 days before Thanksgiving:

"Well, since Thanksgiving is coming up, I'm going to work on counting my blessings, which, says Mom, are many. First off, I'm living in Hawaii right near HI Volcanoes National Park. It would be hard to imagine a more unique spot on the planet. I have a job with the U.S. Geological Survey, an important organization that will be spicy on my resume. I'm working in field biology, gaining valuable experience that will help me in my decision of whether to pursue graduate studies, and if so, in what. I'm in better physical condition than I have been since I was 15 (with the possible exception of times near field day at PQQ). I have an awesome mountain bike for the first time in my life, and so far I haven't entirely killed myself on it yet. I have two wonderful, supportive parents, and an amazing sister and a cool brother. I have a set of extremely varied experiences that is broader culturally, geographically, and educationally than most people gain in a lifetime, and there is no sign that I will cease or slow down in gaining further experience. Most importantly, I'm a child of God and I know where I'm going - I just need help finding out what to do in the meanwhile."

But Thanksgiving of 1999 was the day life threw us a curve ball. And we didn't even see it coming!

So what do you do? How can you be thankful? How is it possible to fulfill the scriptural mandate to "give thanks in everything" when one of the relationships you treasured most on this earth has suddenly and ruthlessly been ripped away from you.

I must confess that it isn't easy. But it is possible!

This week I had the privilege of presenting the "counsel time" to a group of children at our church who attend AWANA club. And I posed this same question to them (ages 3 to 16) - how can you be thankful for something you aren't thankful for? As we worked through this exercise together, I asked each of them to think of something they were NOT thankful for and then to think of a way to turn that into thankfulness.

What I was trying to illustrate was that our words and attitudes have the power to change our perspective like it did in this video.

For me, Thanksgiving Day of 1999 changed my world. But on December 17, 1999 God transformed my heart by giving me His perspective. All I can say is that it was even more radical than the transformation in the video above. God turned my deep sorrow into real joy and yes, even thankfulness for the 22 years I had had with my son. Read our book, Aloha is Forever, for the rest of the story!

Urgency of Purpose

2011-11-20T08:15:00.000-06:00

During my devotions this morning I was reading an entry called, "I bless you with the peace of Jesus" out of a little booklet titled, Daily Spirit Blessings by Arthur Burk and Sylvia Gunter. It made me think about the "tyranny of the urgent" vs "the urgency of purpose."

No one walked this earth with an urgency of purpose like Jesus. He was pressed on every side by demands of the crowds yet He filled each day with those things that were priorities in the fulfillment of His ultimate purpose. John 5:19 says that Jesus told the Jewish leaders this: "Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself but what He sees the Father do, for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner." Or to put it in laymen terms, "I get my direction for everything I do from my Father. I only follow His lead." As He walked this earth, He accomplished more in the three years of His ministry than most people do in a lifetime and ultimately achieved His purpose in going to the cross. As I pondered this, I believe He was giving us a key to what it means to "walk in the Spirit" when He said He only did what He saw His Father doing.

So how do we accomplish that without being sucked in by the tyranny of the urgent that is around us and pressing in on us from all sides? For one thing, we need to develop that habit of constant communion with the Father, paying attention to the still small voice of guidance that He gives. In order to do that, we often have to quiet the clamor of our flesh and its desires that speak so loudly they try to drown out the Spirit's voice. And we have to discern whether we are listening to God's voice or satan's voice - anyone who has repented of their sin and trusted in Christ's sacrifice on their behalf, has become a child of God. Every child learns to know the sound of his father's voice and it's no different in the spiritual realm - but that's a topic for a different blog entry. Suffice it to say that the key to knowing His voice is spending time with Him, reading His Word and talking to Him on a daily basis.

Another thing we need to do is pay attention to peace. I have learned that peace, or rather, the lack thereof, is like a warning light on the dashboard of your car. When peace is gone, so is God's spirit. Jesus spoke these words in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you..." You can count on it; if peace isn't ruling in your heart, He isn't ruling either.

This line from the little devotional I read this morning stood out to me, "I bless you with being peaceful because you know ahead of time that your Father God will partner with you to provide adequacy for each day, whether a day with pain or pleasure." Peace comes from walking in that assurance that He is there, just as He said He would be, no matter what your circumstances.

All of what I've already said presumes that we know what our purpose and calling is here on this earth. Without a sense of purpose that gives us the urgency to accomplish that purpose, we will inevitably be driven by the urgencies of life; the tyranny of the urgent. Obviously there are things that are legitimate urgencies in our lives such as getting meals on the table, getting the laundry done, earning a living, etc. However, God also has a destiny He would like each of us to fulfill and until that sense of destiny becomes more urgent than the common ordinary urgencies of life, we will have great difficulty accomplishing our calling.

So today I bless you with the knowledge of your calling and the ability to walk hand in hand with Him to accomplish it.

Part 2 of Rotten Egg in the Omelet

2011-11-11T00:58:00.000-06:00

I've left you hanging and hopefully pondering long enough. Let's get back to our rotten egg in the omelet illustration. And please remember that it's only an illustration. Real truth, in my opinion, is only obtained by a careful study of the Scriptures, God's Word. (II Timothy 3:16 says, "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness...")

So what did you think? Does God weigh the good we have done against the bad and judge whether we are worthy to be allowed into His presence? You probably already guessed that I am going to say, "No." Let me explain why.

The Scriptures are full of references to the fact that we have all sinned; no one is righteous, not even one of us. The most well known reference is in Romans 3:23. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." And in I John 1:8 it says, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."

In the beginning, Adam and Eve lived in a perfect world but given free choice to walk in fellowship and communion with their creator, they chose disobedience (sin) and walked away from that perfect fellowship. You may say, "Wait a minute! Adam and Eve? Give me a break!" OK, would you have made the choice not to disobey, especially when tempted into believing that you would become like God and have the knowledge of good and evil just by eating the forbidden fruit? I submit to you that if it hadn't been Eve, it would have been someone else and sin would have entered the world sooner or later.

BUT God is merciful and loving. The only way to exercise perfect justice was to condemn sin - in other words, all came under condemnation. Romans 6:23a says, "...the wages of sin is death." Because we all sin, we all deserve the just wage of sin; death. Without going into great detail, let me just submit to you that the death God refers to here is spiritual death, not actual physical death, and the best way to sum that up is to equate spiritual death with separation from God - as though a chasm separates man from God. (I'm being very simplistic - whole books have been written to explain this, yet it is simple enough for even a young child to understand.)

So if the wages of sin is death or to get back to the omelet illustration, throwing out the eggs with the rotten one that contaminates the whole bunch, then someone has to die; someone has to pay that death penalty. That's where God's love shines - "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8). Most of us have heard that often enough that it doesn't really sink in. What God did on the cross was this: "...He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us," (II Corinthians 5:21a). The penalty we deserved, God placed upon His Son, Jesus, calling Him unrighteous who was completely and totally righteous. Why? "That we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (II Corinthians 5:21b).

There is a lengthy passage of Scripture in Ephesians 2 starting with verse 4 that explains why God did this. It also explains how the good we do is a result of God's mercy and grace toward us. It is the effect and not the cause. Religious systems would want us to believe that we can do enough good to please God, but God says He is the one who took the first step to reconcile us to himself in Christ, resulting in a total inner transformation of the heart (like throwing out the rotten egg mixture). He gives us a completely new beginning and even still is gracious and merciful to forgive us when we confess the sins we commit after trusting Him for salvation. Let me quote the Ephesians passage here:

But God who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. and not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:4-10 - italics are mine.)

Hallelujah! I, for one, am very glad He loved me that much. But the best part is that because we all start on a level playing field - all of us condemned sinners, we all have the same access to Him based on what Jesus did on the cross. The only requirement is to believe that what He did was sufficient and to accept His gift of life. His aloha is forever!

Rotten Egg in the Omelet

2011-11-06T09:15:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had the misfortune of cracking open a rotten egg? I have! My daughter has been a backyard farmer girl ever since I can remember. She always collected the eggs from her chickens and we had wonderful fresh eggs to eat on a continual basis.

One day I went to break an egg into a frying pan to have my usual breakfast of a fried egg and toast. I heard some peeping noises and wondered where they might be coming from but didn't give it a second thought. The oil in the frying pan was just right and I could almost hear the sizzling of the egg as it fried. But to my shock and utter dismay, when I cracked the shell open there was a blood covered little chick just about ready to peck its way out of its shell! In case you're wondering, it didn't land in the hot oil, but it also didn't survive. One more day inside the shell might have been sufficient.

It was a long time before I could persuade myself to eat another fried egg and what had been a regular combo on my breakfast menu became a rarity.

As I was praying the other day for my AWANA class (AWANA = Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed from II Timothy 2:15) the Lord reminded me of an illustration of the gospel message.

Imagine making an omelet. First you throw in one egg, then another, then another. After 5 eggs are cracked into your bowl, you crack the 6th one and it is rotten. It falls into your bowl of eggs before you can stop it. Can you proceed and make an edible omelet out of your bowl full of eggs? No! And no matter how many good eggs you add to your bowl, it will continue to be inedible because of the one rotten egg. (If you've never smelled a rotten egg, I recommend that you let one sit out on your counter for about 6 to 8 weeks and then crack it open. This illustration will make a lot more sense to you.)

So in order to make a good tasting omelet, you must throw out the whole bowl full of eggs, wash everything and start all over. If you're smart, you'll crack each egg into a saucer or small cup first and then add it to your bowlful. Yummm...nothing better than a freshly made omelet.

What is the point? If you were God, would you accept a little sin (bad) along with all the good someone has done and let them into heaven? What do you think? What do you say? Does the good in you outweigh the bad?

To be continued...

Cause for Celebration

2011-10-31T09:56:00.000-05:00

39 years of marriage. That is cause for celebration! When I met him 39 plus years ago on a tiny airstrip in southern Mexico, I could not have imagined that he would become my husband. At first glance we had nothing in common. But when he offered to help me do up the dishes and we began to talk, I discovered how wrong I was about that.

Our backgrounds of being trained and discipled by The Navigators, a para church organization that worked on college campuses, gave us a great deal to talk about. We compared notes about Navigator training programs, conferences, etc. Who were mutual friends and/or acquaintances? What verses had we each memorized? We discovered we had been at a big conference together a few years before we met. That spiritual common ground gave us a good foundation for building a solid and deeply satisfying relationship. I highly recommend that if you are a believer, you pray for and allow God to lead you to another strong believer who has the same set of values, principles and spiritual background. That has been invaluable in enabling us to build a strong, healthy, lasting relationship.

We were also headed in the same direction in our life purpose and goals. God had called each of us separately into the mission organization, Wycliffe Bible Translators. And although we hadn't met during our initial linguistics training, God orchestrated our meeting on that Tzeltal Indian village airstrip; one from Wisconsin, one from Texas. That common life purpose and goal has joined us and knit us together in a powerful way. Even as God redirected that goal over the years, He continued to give us unity in our calling and purpose.

Lest I lead you to believe that everything was a bed of roses, it wasn't. But the rosy times have far outweighed the not so rosy ones. We've discovered that our differences have made us more dependent upon each other. My weaknesses are complemented by his strengths and his by mine. I've often told friends that in many ways I have become who I am today because of the positive influence of my dear husband who has a heart of gold.

He is one in a million and even though he continues to walk about 2 paces ahead of me when we are going anywhere, I wouldn't trade him for anything. (I guess he learned that in the Tzeltal Indian village where the husband always walks at least 100 feet ahead of his wife.)

As long as we are walking in sync with the Lord and with each other, it really doesn't matter that much whether he walks physically beside me or ahead of me. One habit we developed from the very beginning of our marriage was that of praying together daily. There are days when that isn't possible, but for the most part that continues to be a habit that has drawn us closer both to the Lord and to each other over the years.

39 great years! Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "A threefold cord is not quickly broken." The 3rd cord in our relationship is Jesus. He is the glue; the love potion that holds everything together! We look forward to many, many more years of glorifying God together through our marriage as chapter 5 of Ephesians describes.

More on Being Bilingual

2011-10-11T23:40:00.002-05:00

We had a pleasant banter going on over dinner recently. I had made absolutely delicious homemade hamburger buns! And we had the music going in the background. Even my grandson was eating more and talking less than usual.

As the meal was drawing to a close my husband said, "How about some sorvete for dessert?" So of course we started talking about sorvete and trying to get my grandson to speak some Portuguese. His task was to figure out what "sorvete" was in English. Eventually my son said, "Grandpa even gave you a clue. He said what it was in English back in the beginning of this conversation."

We all looked at him and said, "No, he didn't." He insisted he had said it in English and we three insisted he hadn't. Finally, (since the majority rules) he admitted he was in error, with much embarrassment and turning a deep rosy red.

My son had passed the acid test of being a true bilingual; when you understand everything that was said, but have no idea which language was spoken.

I've heard people say that you are bilingual when you dream in your second language, but I believe that's only the beginning of becoming bilingual. The true test is the one my son passed. I've even taken that a step further and am often not even aware of which language I'm using when I speak to someone. This, incidentally, can result in strange and confused reactions from my listeners.

Wouldn't you like to be bilingual? What other language would you like to speak and why?

Blessing Your Child

2011-10-04T11:37:00.000-05:00

How do you bless your child? I know, that sounds like a strange question, especially since blessing is what all of us want for our children. We all dream of the best for our children. But did you know there is a proactive way of making sure that your children are blessed?

We began a couple of years ago to celebrate a Sabbath meal together on Friday evenings. No, we're not Jewish but we have observed that one of the reasons so many Jewish people are prosperous is because receiving a verbal "blessing" on a regular basis is part of their culture.

During our Sabbath meal we celebrate communion together, thanking the Father for sending his Son, Jesus to be the perfect sacrifice to pay for our sin. From the very beginning the Bible tells of one who would come and through whom all the peoples of the earth would be blessed. The one who fulfilled all of the prophesies and through whom we are blessed is Jesus. He suffered the ultimate curse and humiliation of death on a cross and separation from His Father so that through Him we could have life and an eternal relationship with God the Father. So knowing that blessing comes through Jesus, we celebrate that at the beginning of our meal.

Then at the end of the meal, my husband speaks a blessing over each of our children and our grandchild, blessing them with wisdom, knowledge, direction, prosperity, and in short, declaring God's promises over their lives.

In order to do this, we have to see past what is actually happening and agree by faith with what God the Father says in His word about us and about our future. Those are the things we are to speak over ourselves and over each other.

To bless means "to enable to prosper." Who have you enabled to prosper through your words and/or actions lately?

Being Bilingual

2011-09-21T10:11:00.001-05:00

Being bilingual is such an awesome privilege! But it's one that most Americans don't really understand. The vast majority of Americans are monolingual, speaking and understanding only one language; English. I was among them, even though I studied German in high school and college. If I had had the opportunity, I would have been able to get by in Germany with my limited knowledge of the language. But it wouldn't have made me comfortable!

After college, I began to study linguistics and a whole new world opened up to me. My next step was to learn a little bit of a language that was very different from any I had ever encountered. I did OK, and I seemed to have a knack for understanding the meaning the other speaker was trying to communicate even though I didn't really understand the words. But I digress...

My husband and I started on our journey to becoming bilingual when we arrived in Brazil in 1974. After two weeks in the country, we moved in with a Brazilian family who spoke only Portuguese. Believe me, that was NOT comfortable. But we knew that the only way to really learn the language was to immerse ourselves in it. It was incredibly taxing and tiring to struggle to understand and communicate in a language we were just barely learning. But it was one of the best decisions we could ever have made and it put us way ahead in our understanding not only of the language, but also the culture of the people of Brazil.

Fast forward to our children - they had the "misfortune" of living in an American/British missionary community where English was the language of choice. So we had to be proactive in exposing them to Portuguese. We sent them to Portuguese speaking preschool. Our son learned how to mix all of his food into one homogeneous mixture on his plate before he ate but not much Portuguese and he beseeched me daily with his big, round eyes to come back and get him soon. Our daughter who was a little older, went to school kicking and screaming every day, but in spite of that, developed a passionate love for Portuguese, Brazil and everything Brazilian. She also managed to become truly bilingual.

Fast forward again to our third son - he was almost 7 years younger than our middle son and even though by this time we were living in a place that allowed him to have much more interaction and exposure to Portuguese, he was not learning it well. So we debated about putting him into a Brazilian school for 4th grade. I sought John's counsel. He was the one who had pleaded with me not to leave him very long at the preschool. He said, "Mom, I would give an arm and a leg to be able to speak Portuguese well." That sealed it. Off to a Brazilian school for our 4th grader. He learned Portuguese well enough to have pretty flawless pronunciation and took it upon himself to correct ours at every opportunity.

Fast forward yet again to our grandson - our expectation was that he would grow up learning both languages at the same time; English from his mother and Portuguese from his Brazilian father. That expectation was dashed when his father left when our grandson was just beginning to talk. So we now have a 5 year old who needs to learn Portuguese and who isn't the least bit interested in doing so. Now what? We are looking for a way to endow him with the incredible gift of being a bilingual. We're starting to speak Portuguese for at least part of the time during every meal. Since our grandson loves to talk, something is bound to happen.

By the way, our own Portuguese improved dramatically when we invited a young Brazilian woman to come and stay with us for awhile. She came intending to stay for about a month to six weeks and ended up living with us for 4 years instead. Maybe we need to do that again.

I Remember 9/11

2011-09-12T08:24:00.001-05:00

The image is forever burned into my memory. We were in a very remote little town in Brazil visiting a pastor and his family and had just returned from a spin around the town. Suddenly our host rushed out of the house shouting, "Come quick, come quick. Something terrible is happening." We ran in and watched the television screen in horror. We could barely grasp what we were seeing. Within a minute or two we watched as a plane flew into the second tower. How was this possible? Wasn't this America? Nothing of this magnitude had ever happened before in our great "land of the free" and "home of the brave." How could it be happening now? It was impossible to comprehend. Our hosts were horrified and dumbfounded as well. Seemingly, this invincible giant called America wasn't really invincible after all. It was all being played out right before our eyes on the TV screen.

The atmosphere became one of somber reflection rather like that of a funeral. Was the America we knew now dead and gone? Would the American people really rise up and rout the forces attempting to destroy it from within? Only time would tell what the implications and ramifications of this historic event would be.

The immediate response was a spirit of courage, compassion, neighborliness and love that rose up among the people, not only of New York, but all over the country. It was demonstrated vividly by so many who gave their time, resources, energy and even their lives on behalf of others. Churches opened their doors and throngs turned to God for answers.

Now 10 years later, it seems as though the Trojan army hidden within the "horse" is winning. In the name of tolerance, God is being forced out of our schools, our military, our important events, our lives. In a country that was founded by people who sought freedom of religion, we now have organizations with names like "Freedom From Religion." The faith that made America great and the faith that equipped the nation to deal with such a tragic event as 9/11 is being stripped away and we don't know how it is happening. There seems to be freedom for all religions except Christianity in this land that was founded on the principles that all Christians hold dear.

But there is hope. I believe that even though we as a nation may be facing even darker hours than that of 9/11, God still stands ready to bless America. We must do our part to compassionately and kindly stand up for what is right and true in the same way that many of our forefathers did. Are there enough Americans left who truly believe that America is worth fighting for? Worth living for? Worth dying for? Only time will tell...

We, too, born to freedom, and believing in freedom, are willing to fight to maintain freedom. We, and all others who believe as deeply as we do, would rather die on our feet than live on our knees.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Thankful Thursday (Even Though it's Sunday)

2011-08-28T11:51:00.000-05:00

I saw a post yesterday titled Thankful Thursday and got permission from Misty to "steal" her idea. But Thursday, Friday and Saturday all got away from me. Here it is Sunday, but I'm going to post this anyway.

Thursday was August 25th - my father-in-law's birthday. How thankful I am for him and the legacy he left. I see so many amazing traces of his legacy in my children. He was quite a man. He knew what he believed and he stood his ground no matter what the challenges. He was a loving, caring husband and father. In fact, as my mother-in-law grew more and more disoriented due to Alzheimer's, he faithfully and tenderly cared for her. Even though he had his own health issues, he pretty much laid down his life for his wife. (He's been gone now since 1999.)

He was fun-loving and that was something somewhat foreign to me when I married into the family. My introduction the first time my new husband and I stayed with my in-laws was to find a rubber snake in my suitcase. A day or two later, it was some plastic "barf." My husband and my children have tended toward the fun-loving side often to my dismay and occasionally to my utter terror!

My father-in-law was disciplined, a trait that showed up primarily in my middle son, although the others also have traces. My father-in-law used to brag about how he would take his last hot shower of the season on a specific date which never changed, by the way, no matter what the actual temperature. Then in the fall he had a specific date to start taking hot showers again. The lawn was mowed on schedule every 5 days whether it needed it or not. He kept impeccable records of everything, even the date and type of bread he made in his bread maker.

He also had the incredible ability to juggle several tasks at once. His job as an air traffic controller required it. Even at home he could listen to one game on the radio, have another on the TV and carry on a conversation at the same time. My daughter seems to have inherited this trait the strongest. How she manages to keep so many balls in the air at one time is a mystery to me! Her granddad's legacy?

My father-in-law, although he was a man of deep faith, was also somewhat of a worry wart. If he didn't hear from us within what he considered to be a reasonable amount of time, he would go so far as to write out a multiple choice, self-addressed, stamped postcard for us to return to him with an answer to mark; 1) someone is sick and dying 2) lost all my pens 3) we're ok, just haven't gotten around to writing! Having grown up in a family that cared for each other, but not quite so overwhelmingly, that sometimes annoyed me. Not anymore though. I came to understand that his family was more important to him than just about anything.

He was an excellent provider. He was frugal and careful and a hard worker. Thanks to his careful planning, his wife has never lacked and was able to volunteer for an organization she truly cared about. That was a great joy to her. Even now with Alzheimer's, she is completely cared for. This trait was passed on to my youngest son - frugal to a fault, not afraid of hard work (but that goes for my husband and all my children) and very careful in his expenditures.

My father-in-law was also generous. He gave liberally to his church and to many missionaries both financially and by giving his time. He visited the sick and those in nursing homes, wrote caring notes to many who needed encouragement, cared for his neighbors and their homes when needed and generally was helpful to anyone and everyone. We were frequently on the receiving end of his generosity. And all of my children are generous with what they have. They too, were receivers of his generosity.

So yes, I'm thankful for a loving, caring, wonderful father-in-law.

Family Time

2011-08-23T16:30:00.001-05:00

Unlike most American families, we almost always have dinner and sometimes even lunch together as a family. Lately we've taken to doing a Sunday morning brunch since our church meets on Wednesday evenings and not on Sundays. That has turned out to be one of the best family times. We're all relaxed and not in a hurry to go anywhere. Plus we're not exhausted from a day of work. It's just fun to sit around over brunch and talk about whatever happens to be on our minds. Usually that involves planning in some form or another. (Want to know what we've been planning?)

The menu often revolves around buttermilk waffles from a recipe in an old Amish cookbook we picked up somewhere. We add eggs or bacon or sausage to the menu, some juice and our special Brazilian coffee. Occasionally we opt for pancakes or french toast as the central part of the meal. A couple of weeks ago I was in a very energetic mood and since we still had fresh blueberries from a pick-your-own farm, I decided to make blueberry crepes. Mind you, I made that decision before looking at a recipe or I probably would have changed my mind. But I had already made the announcement and the whole family was expecting blueberry crepes. So here is the result along with glowing rave reviews and "You can do that again's."

Unfortunately, the blueberry season is over for this year. We have a few in the freezer for special occasions, but we're all already looking forward to next year's blueberry season! I'll probably indulge my family again by treating them to blueberry crepes!

Ever Feel Overwhelmed?

2011-08-11T12:04:00.001-05:00

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? I videoed this crazy chicken recently and just got to thinking this morning that often I'm a little bit like her and could probably pause and learn a lesson. Here she is trying to incubate 69 eggs! An average hen can handle about a dozen eggs, some can handle a few more or a few less.

So I got to thinking. Hmm... Maybe I'm a little too much like this hen with a few too many projects and passions on my "plate." In my zeal to accomplish much, too often little is really accomplished. I hate to admit it, but maybe I need to learn a lesson from this hen and concentrate on doing just a few things really well.

Now for the stickler! How do I choose? God's help and guidance is the obvious answer. Perhaps there is another lesson the hen can teach me. If I only had 3 weeks left in my life (about the time it takes to hatch out a batch of chicks) how would I spend my time. Aha! There is a key - although I doubt I could accomplish all I want to in just three short weeks.

I would definitely love my loved ones more passionately - and I would write furiously in an attempt to get everything down in print before my demise. And I would try for all I'm worth to bring more people into God's Kingdom. That's what my writing is all about anyway.

I'm sure there are more things I could learn from this crazy hen, but I think I'll mull that over for awhile! Don't you just wonder what must have gone through her mind?

What do you think? Is there a lesson here for you? Please share if you will.

Planning Ahead

2011-07-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

Some people are natural born planners. They prefer to have everything planned out months in advance. Last minute changes drive them crazy. I have a few people like that in my circle of friends.

Some people plan ahead for certain things, but are also open to spur of the moment changes to those plans. Probably the majority of us fall in this category.

Then there are the people who like to fly by the seat of their pants. They are natural born adventurers and turn life into a great adventure for everyone around them. My husband happens to be one of those. Since he rarely plans ahead (notice I didn't say never) the story I'm going to tell may seem quite out of character. But it's because of his "character" that I am anxious to share it.

Every school has its bullies and the junior high school my husband attended was no exception. One day the class bullies cornered him in the restroom. He certainly had not planned out this scene in his head and did not know ahead of time what he would do if confronted by the bullies. But motivated by a higher desire to do what was right and stand against them he did what he did. These particular bullies had planned out what they were going to do and they were united in their purpose. They were determined to bring my husband down to their level that day.

They backed him into a corner, crammed a cigarette into his hand and said, "You’re gonna smoke this, or else!"

The young man who is now my husband held that cigarette for a moment and then pulverized it into the commode saying, "No I’m not!" He then shoved his way through the group of bullies and left the restroom.

I have a feeling that their reaction was one of shock and disbelief as they stared at my husband's back and watched him grow another inch in character. And in case you're wondering, they never bothered him again.

Planning ahead - although it may not involve absolute specifics, if we want to maintain our integrity and act according to the principles we have chosen for ourselves, there must be some planning ahead. We must know where our personal limits are and how we plan to uphold them.

For me, long before I started dating, I already had determined my limits and absolutely nothing was going to make me change them. I had planned ahead, not necessarily HOW I was going to enforce the limits, but knowing where my limits were.

I know my son John had that same kind of mentality. He had often heard his dad's story of the bullies in the restroom and each time he heard it I'm sure it reinforced his determination to be a man of integrity himself.

Have you planned ahead in a similar way? Would you mind sharing your experiences?

Planning for Generations

2011-07-15T15:06:00.000-05:00

My mind took off in overdrive today as I was listening to a mentoring/coaching call. What I was hearing made me sit up and take notice. The basic question in my mind was, "Do I have short term thinking or long term thinking?" I had heard the concept before but never in quite this way. But that's always the case, isn't it? What we hear and how we hear it depends on all of the other circumstances taking place in our lives at any particular time. This time it hit me hard especially as I've been dealing with challenges of teaching and training or at least helping my daughter teach and train her son. I'm beginning to see attitudes and behavior that if not nipped in the bud now, will produce fruit we don't want in the future.

So I admit it, many times I suffer from short term thinking. I concentrate on the simple task of getting through the day with my sanity intact or getting past the next bill that is due. But concentrating on the immediate can and does often sacrifice the future.

No more! I am now determined to make a conscious effort at planning not only for my grandson's future, but the future of his children and his childrens' children. I need a 100 year plan that will positively impact generations beginning with this one.

One way I can do that is to get the story of our lifetime in missions written. My daughter mentioned just the other day that she was going to be extremely disappointed if my husband and I didn't get all of our "stories" down on paper while we still remembered them. So that is a way to get started. Both of us read all kinds of missionary stories when we were young and they all impacted us and gave us direction for our lives. How we would love to have that kind of an impact on many others!

Do you plan for the long haul? If so, do you have any practical ways of implementing long term planning and thinking? If you do, please share. I'd appreciate it and I have a feeling my other readers would, too.

Why I Write Blogfest

2011-06-29T15:52:00.002-05:00

I write because I have something to say. You may think that a bit prideful, but that's probably the bottom line for most writers. I certainly don't write to make money although the more people who read what I write, the better not only for my ego but for my pocketbook.

It's quite possible that many people don't or won't like reading what I write, but if I didn't think it was important to get my thoughts and opinions out there, I wouldn't bother.

So I write on my blog primarily to promote the book my husband and I wrote together, Aloha is Forever. Although the story is sad, it is also inspirational. It is a way of sharing the hope we have as well as honoring our son's memory. Lest you think it might be full of mushy platitudes and silly ideas, nothing could be further from the truth. We tell the heart-wrenching story exactly as it happened but we also tell of the miracle that took place to put our hearts back together again and give us peace. That is a story worth sharing! I hope you take the time to read it.

Giveaway Winners

2011-06-29T09:00:00.000-05:00

The book giveaway winners are:

Rose Avelar (name drawn from the basket).
Bonnie Morton (a winner for promoting our giveaway more than any of the other participants).

Congratulations to the winners and a huge thank you to all of you who participated. I sincerely wish we were independently wealthy and in a position to give a book to each person who wants one. However, they aren't that expensive so if you'd like to support us and our ministry and get your hands on a very special book, go ahead and click on Aloha is Forever and order one for yourself and another for a friend or loved one who has recently lost a family member. It will encourage them!

Once again, thanks to everyone who participated. I'll probably do this again next year in honor of John's 35th birthday.

Book Giveaway Details

2011-06-21T09:30:00.002-05:00

Alert: The contest has been extended until tonight, June 25th at midnight (CDT).

This is John's birthday week - June 24th! He would be 34 this year. So in honor of his birthday we are giving away a signed copy of our book, Aloha is Forever. I'll be doing the drawing on the 25th and will announce it either on the 25th or 26th. Busy weekend so I'm not sure how all of this will fit into my schedule!

Here are ways you can get your name into the hat:

1. Comment on this blog - one chance for each comment between today (June 21st) and Friday (June 24th). You're welcome to comment on as many posts as you like, just don't make them "one word" comments.
2. Comment on our facebook page - one chance for each comment between today and Friday.
3. Become a new follower of this blog - one chance.
4. Become a new follower of our facebook page - one chance.
5. Share our announcement about the contest in your status on Facebook - two chances.
6. Email at least 2 friends to tell them about our giveaway - one chance per friend.
7. Tweet my blog link - one chance.

In addition to one book in the drawing, we are going to give away one book to the person who accumulates the most total points by the end of the day, June 24th (midnight central daylight time). So two books will be given away. And don't forget to email us telling us what you have done.

For the actions you complete please email us at sharonreece.reece@gmail.com just so we can get an accurate account to put your name in the hat the appropriate number of times. That will also give us your email address so we can contact the winner. Don't worry, we won't be putting your email address into any autoresponder list or selling it or anything of the sort. We respect your privacy!

Thanks for participating and good luck!

Weeds in the Garden

2011-06-19T14:34:00.001-05:00

As I was digging weeds out of my garden bed recently, sweat was pouring down my face, fogging up my glasses, making them slide down to the tip of my nose and I began to think that gardening is really painful. But the thought of the crop of cucumbers I was eventually going to harvest kept me going.

Two things came to mind as I worked. First, I thought about the original garden. God had provided everything that was needed and the trees were "pleasant to the sight and good for food" according to Genesis 2:9. Water was provided by a river that flowed in and through the garden - no need for irrigation! But something happened. Out of all the trees in the garden there was only one that was forbidden; the tree bearing the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. Genesis 3:6 says, "So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, (note that all the trees in the garden were good for food) that it was pleasant to the eyes, (note that all the trees in the garden were pleasant to the eyes) and a tree desirable to make one wise, (note that it was not billed as a wisdom tree, but as a tree that would make one aware of both good and evil) she took of its fruit and ate." In that moment life changed forever for Adam and Eve and consequently for all of humanity.

Life suddenly became difficult.

Genesis 3:17-19 says, "...Cursed is the ground for your sake; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you. And you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground..."

Much can be said about this account in Genesis. Had it not been Eve and then Adam who took of the forbidden fruit, it would have been someone else. That desire to know what is unknown and to do what is forbidden is in the heart of each one of us. Just observe a small child for a few hours and you'll see it in action.

So there I was, toiling in the thorns and thistles, sweat pouring from my face and not enjoying myself very much. But the end result is still sustenance and even though it's terribly hard work, there is a satisfaction that comes as a result of our labor and toil that doesn't come any other way. And there is the anticipation of the fruit of our labor that is very sweet.

The second thing that came to mind was the fact that sowing naturally results in reaping. Throughout the Bible there are countless places that talk about sowing and reaping. The principle works in agriculture, in finances, in relationships, in spiritual vigor, in academic knowledge, in health, etc. We find examples of this principle just about everywhere we look.

I have a large portion of one garden bed that isn't planted. It is supposed to be filled with okra but instead it is filled with weeds! A two week trip at the time I should have been preparing the soil and sowing the seed, has resulted in no harvest to reap. In fact, not only is there no harvest, but the weeds have grown so thick that I dread tackling the task of removing them! It will be very hard work. But the end of the bed that did get planted with okra is lush and beautiful and I am about to begin reaping an abundant crop of the most delicious heirloom red okra you can ever imagine. Now I realize that there may be many readers who don't consider okra a delicacy, but I assure you that my family is waiting for it with bated breath. It's one of our favorites!

Sowing takes time. It requires sweat and toil to prepare the soil. Then it takes wisdom to know just how deep to plant the seeds, how far apart to place them, etc. Then it requires patience mixed with water to cause the seeds to sprout. In another bed I recently planted an heirloom variety of summer squash so I just went through this cycle once again. If I hadn't watered the bed well, most of it would not have sprouted. Since we haven't had rain in several weeks, watering is a continual task. At the same time we're experiencing drought in the physical, we're also experiencing it in the spiritual realm in this country. And we must get our water from God's word on an ongoing basis or we will not produce fruit in our lives.

You must also sow the right seed to get the right crop. I was just looking at my pepper plants today. Ones I thought were mixed colors of bell peppers look very much like they are yellow sweet banana peppers instead. Oh, no! What a disappointment! I purchased these plants from a store so apparently someone switched the labels around. Believe me, when you are looking for mixed colors of bell peppers, you are not a happy camper when yellow sweet banana peppers appear instead!

This principle works in many areas of life. We reap what we have sown. It's simple. If we sow discord we will reap discord. If we sow peace and joy, we will reap peace and joy. So if you are disappointed by what you're reaping, you may want to think back and remember what you have sown in the past.

Through our book Aloha is Forever that tells the story of losing our son, John, we have purposefully attempted to sow life. He is already seated in the heavenlies with Christ Jesus and using the story of his disappearance to impact the lives of others in a positive way is exactly what he would have wanted.

John 12:24 states it well:

"Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me, and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor."

It has been said that we can count the seeds in a piece of fruit, but we can never know how many pieces of fruit there are in one seed.

June 24th Book Giveaway

2011-06-08T16:53:00.001-05:00

Get ready for June 24th! I will be giving away a signed copy of our book on that day in honor of John's birthday. He would be 34 this year and that is cause for celebration.

I'm still thinking about the details of how to do the giveaway so check back for more details later. I will pick a name out of a hat from among all those who comment, become new followers on Facebook, and maybe some other tasks. One chance (name in the hat) for each task completed. I just got the idea from reading another person's blog. Since John isn't here to get any gifts, I can at least give one in his honor!

Any ideas on how to work out the logistics and details of my book giveaway would be most welcome! Thanks.

Animals vs. Plants

2011-05-21T14:02:00.000-05:00

Baa...the bleating of sheep made me sit up with a start! It was too loud and too close. But I didn't think too much about it, took my time getting up and dressed and mosied into the kitchen to put on the coffee pot. The "Baa" had been my alarm clock a full 20 minutes before I intended to get up so I wasn't too happy. The coffee would do the trick and finish the task of waking me up.

But one look out the sliding glass door and my boots were on and I was out the door, forgetting all about coffee and anything else. I didn't even think to grab a jacket. The sheep and goats had somehow escaped their pen and were munching on garden goodies. Oh no!

I quickly chased them back toward their pen wondering how they had escaped since half the herd was still inside.

A quick call to my daughter, the owner of the herd brought her running with a bucket of feed and she was able to bribe them back into the pen. We all decided that they didn't like the grass in the pasture area they had been given the previous night. With the help of cattle panels, my daughter had set up a movable, portable sheep/goat pen and was pasturing the herd on the steep sides of the dam where goats and sheep do a better job of mowing than we can manage to do ourselves.

When all was under control, I did a quick survey of the damage to the garden. Apparently they had just discovered it only minutes before I found them since only a few leaves had been nibbled from places that were unimportant. Whew!

The whole incident reminded me of the time when John was young. He had decided to raise geese. He invested in a large basin so they would have plenty of water, built a fence that he thought would contain them, etc. They were beautiful white creatures. Then one day they escaped and he found them chowing down on his orchids, and other plants. I'm sure they had been planning their attack for some time since they could see the plants enticing them from not too far away. They quickly became dinner the very next day. His plants were too important to him to sacrifice them to the geese.

I'm not sure what we're going to do about the sheep and goats. They are definitely NOT going to become dinner. A fence around the garden as well as a better fence around them is on the horizon.

Unforgettable Mother's Day

2011-05-07T18:51:00.003-05:00

There have been many Mother's Days in my lifetime so far but there is one that is and always has been unforgettable. That was the Mother's Day my son John took me out for lunch. I don't recall that he had ever done that before or that he ever did it again. I'm sure that's what made it so unforgettable.

The time that has passed has erased many of my memories of that day. For instance, I don't remember why it was just the two of us, although I think the reason for my solo trip to the States was my father's funeral. Lots of memories are "floating around" in the back of my mind and I can't seem to put them all together in a coherent manner.

What I do remember is that John and I went to church together in Madison. Afterward he suggested that we go out to eat. He had just finished his freshman year of college and didn't have much extra. In fact, he didn't have any extra money. His grandfather faithfully sent him a small amount of spending money each month, but that had to go a long way. The fact that he was willing to take me out to eat for Mother's Day spoke volumes to me. Then began our search for an appropriate eating place - one that was not too expensive and not too crowded. After much deliberation he finally chose a Chinese restaurant; something we both enjoyed.

I don't remember anything else about the meal or the restaurant. I think the food was so-so and the atmosphere ok. What made it special was being together with John.

After lunch, neither of us felt like going "home" since my home was in Brazil and his was now Wheaton College. I don't even remember exactly where we were staying at the time. So we decided to go to the Madison Arboretum. It was a gorgeous spring day, perfect for exploring the arboretum and explore we did. He and I explored things at a matching pace. If I had gone to the arboretum with just about anyone else, they would not have taken the time to read all the signs, stop to watch the chipmunks, birds, other wildlife, or look at the unique plants and flowers that were in bloom. Maybe that's what made the day so memorable. Only John and I went at the same pace when it came to exploring things like arboretums.

The day stands out in my memory like no other Mother's Day. When John was in grade school he had made a Mother's Day card for me that said simply, "I like my mom. She does stuff with me." That Mother's Day John did stuff with me. No gift, no card, just doing "stuff" together.

This Mother's Day probably won't be unforgettable. I'll just be doing "stuff" with my other two kids, my grandson and my husband who are still with me and enjoying every minute of it. And that's the way John would want it.

Zealous and Zoo What?

2011-05-02T13:16:00.001-05:00

I got way behind on posting this last entry of the A to Z Blogging Challenge due to garden work and then thunder storms that required keeping our computers off for the weekend. So here goes for the last entry. I was going to write on Zealous and I will post just a short paragraph about that word and then move onto a fun word I discovered in the dictionary.

My first choice of a Z word was zealous since that describes John to a T. It means to be full of, characterized by, or due to zeal; ardently active, devoted, or diligent. Normally we think of the word zeal used in the context of religion, or a specific cause. In thinking about my son, zealous could describe just about any activity he engaged in. But he wasn't the type to choose many things to occupy his time. There were just a few things that he was truly zealous about; his relationship with God, his studies, orchids, biking and tropical fish. What are you zeaous about?

Now for the fun word: Z is for Zoo Doo. Yep! It's really an entry in the dictionary. This is going to be fun! The dictionary definition of zoo doo is: compost made from the dung of zoo animals.

When I saw this word, it reminded me of something that happened to me one time in Brazil many years ago. The circus was in town and I had heard that zoo doo was really good for the garden. However, I would have to get some of the zoo animal manure; especially elephant manure, in order to make some. So some friends and I jumped into a pickup truck and went down to the circus to ask for some.

Keep in mind that we hadn't been in Brazil for all that long and I was still working on becoming proficient in Portuguese. We finally found someone who seemed to be caring for the animals so we thought he would be a good candidate to ask about the elephant manure. In my best Portuguese I said what I thought was, "Do you think I could have a load of elephant manure for my garden?"

The response was a rather puzzled look on the man's face. He looked back and forth from me to the pickup truck, to the elephant and continued to seem puzzled. I thought maybe he hadn't heard me or hadn't understood me so I asked again, slightly rephrasing my question.

Finally, after a long hesitation he said, "Well, ma'am, I don't think the elephant is going to fit in your pickup truck!"

We've had many a good laugh at my expense over this! To this day, I have no idea what I really said. (FYI: I did get a load of elephant manure and it made lovely zoo doo.)

"Y" for Young

2011-04-29T19:14:00.002-05:00

I just got an e-mail from a friend last night telling me about two little babies who had died. One was a twin. It is so heartbreaking when children die young.

When our son died at the age of 22, we were devastated. Young people aren't supposed to die before their parents. It goes completely against the natural order of things. He had so much going for him. He had just graduated from college with a degree in Biology. He was an original thinker and would probably have been responsible for some important breakthrough in some area. He was in excellent physical condition. I could go on and on.

But after all of the searches were over and we had resigned ourselves to the fact that we probably wouldn't see our son again on this earth, I began to ponder all that had happened and all that we had been through. A family member had shared with me a devotional she had read while we were still in Hawaii. It was based on Isaiah 57:1 & 2.

"The righteous pass away; the godly often die before their time. And no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. For the godly who die will rest in peace." (New Living Translation)

Those verses literally changed my life. Instead of focusing on my loss, God had directed my thoughts to eternity and had given me His perspective. It made all the difference. You can read more of the details of how God brought healing and closure to both me and my husband in our book, Aloha is Forever.

Weeks later as I was walking to the grocery store in Brazil (only a block from our house,) it suddenly dawned on me that no matter how long or how short our life is here on earth, it is like the blink of an eye compared to eternity. One day, twenty years, fifty years, eighty years - it really is like a dot compared to a line going on forever that represents eternity. Those of us who are left behind to mourn our loss and experience the pain of a lifetime of separation, feel it acutely. Those who have gone ahead, if they have been redeemed and bought with the blood of the lamb who is Jesus, rest in peace as Isaiah says. That is the basis for our righteousness and we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was John's. It does not depend upon anything we have done, it cannot be earned by doing good things, it simply is a gift bestowed upon us by a loving Father who gave His son to become sin so that we could be counted as righteous by faith.

Is Jesus your righteousness? I hope so.

eXcellence and Xenia

2011-04-29T01:21:00.001-05:00

I thought I was going to fudge a bit on this one and write on eXcellence. But after reading several other blogs, I discovered a fantastic "X" word that fits right in with what I've been writing about during the A to Z Challenge.

But let me start first with eXcellence because it so well describes my son John. He was always striving for excellence. For him, if something was worth doing it was worth doing well. Here is an excerpt from his journal while in college.

"Another thing is for sure: I do not want to do mediocre work for the Lord; it has to be excellent."

He demonstrated this quality in so many, many ways, like the summer he chose to do a whole year worth of Algebra so he wouldn't be behind all the other students when he went to boarding school. He was an example to us of diligence and striving for excellence; even though he often fell short of that as we all do.

But let me go on to the perfectly marvelous word I learned about today - Xenia. Xenia is a Greek word meaning hospitality. Oh, do we ever know about hospitality!

Xenia was extended to us years ago when we traveled the rivers of the Amazon basin. I'm thinking of one trip in particular when our whole family of 5 piled into an aluminum canoe to go to an Indian village and we were the recipients of xenia along the way. It is probably personified there better than anywhere since there are no hotels to stay in. Each night (the trip took 10 days) we would pull into shore where there was a house or two on high ground. We would be graciously received, given a meal, a place to bathe and a place to hang our hammocks. We would chat with the family hosting us for a short while and soon we would all be fast asleep. In the morning there would be coffee and often beiju, a very chewy bread made from manioc and then we would be off on another leg of our journey. Amazingly, God provided a home for us to stay in every single night of our trip.

Not only did we receive xenia, we also gave it. One time I invited a single woman to come and visit us. She came intending to stay for one month and stayed with us for several years, becoming a dear friend and "family" member.

But probably the ultimate "xenia" experience we had was when we were in Hawaii searching for our son. We stayed the whole month of December 1999 and did not spend any money on hotels. We stayed with several different families, but the most outstanding one was a young couple who heard our story at a church we visited. After the service they came up and offered us their home and their car while they were going to be on another island for Christmas. They had lost a child who lived for only a day after he was born so they understood what we were going through as we searched for our son. But all of the people who weren't believers were amazed. They said, "You mean you didn't even know them and they gave you their home and their car?" It was a testimony to many of the power of the love Christians are to have for one another and a very clear example of xenia.

The Bible tells us to extend hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some have entertained angels unaware. I wonder if I have entertained any angels!

Come to my house and you will experience xenia - true hospitality.

What If? and Worship

2011-04-27T13:55:00.001-05:00

I had a hard time choosing between these two "W" words so I am going to combine them.

No matter what happens in life, we are always tempted to visit the "What if's." What if he had made different choices, what if we had made different choices, what if he had been somewhere else, etc, etc. You know what I mean. We all do it. Sometimes we can spend hours, days, even years going over and over the "what if's" in our minds.

It's all unproductive because we can never go back and change anything in the past. We only become frustrated, depressed, angry and a multitude of other emotions. And sometimes we even ruin our future by replaying the past.

So we determined in our hearts that we would not "what if" the circumstances surrounding our son's disappearance. That was a choice we made; not unlike any other choice. The Bible talks about it in II Corinthians 10:5.

"...bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." (New King James version)

Taking every thought captive and giving it to Christ is probably one of the most helpful disciplines in the life of a Christian. We have certainly found it to be so. It closes the door to the enemy of our souls and doesn't give him any room to bring in confusion, doubt, self-pity, and a multitude of other negative emotions.

We had gone to Hawaii to help search for our missing son, 22 years old and a recent college graduate. He had gone on a 4 day hike across the Kohala and had not returned for work on Monday. He had gone alone - not a good idea but he had no one to go with him.

We joined with the many other searchers to try to find John or to find some clue that would give us an idea of what might have happened to him. But we found nothing. When we began to come to the realization that we would not see him again on this earth, my husband felt the Father urging him to go up to the mountain and worship Him. So we took a borrowed guitar (not that worship necessarily means music; although that often helps) and went up to the backside of the Kohala just over the mountain from where John had been hiking. We croaked out some songs because we both had laryngitis. But worship is always a matter of the heart, and we were worshiping the God we loveand have served all our lives, not because we were expecting anything but because we wanted Him to know beyond any shadow of a doubt that we trusted Him with our son as well as with our own lives.

After a little while we drove around to the Pololu trailhead. As we drove up we could see a complete double rainbow extending from the valley to the sea. The rainbow is a beautiful expression of God's promises and of His faithfulness. We worshiped some more, the praises and songs flowing from our hearts as the tears flowed from our eyes.

When we finished, not that one is ever finished worshiping the Lord, we stopped by the home of the couple we had met on our first day of searching for John. They lived almost at the trailhead. We chatted a little and the wife asked if she could "sing over us." We had never had anyone sing over us and we weren't sure what that meant but we agreed. She then knelt down in front of us on her little patio and began to sing Darlene Zschech's song, "Shout to the Lord." She wove the movements of hula into her song in one of the most beautiful expressions of worship we have ever experienced. The tears flowed freely. It was one of the most precious moments of our lives.

Worship is a profound expression of trust and faith in a God who is sovereign and who is able to do what the apostle Paul wrote about in Romans 8:28.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (New King James Version)

He is able to take any circumstance of life and transform it into something that is good and glorifying to Himself. That is why we discipline ourselves not to visit the "What if's." We choose instead, to worship the only One who is worthy of our worship, honor and praise.

Volcanoes National Park

2011-04-26T11:58:00.001-05:00

V is for Volcanoes National Park. That was the location of the USGS base of operations for the project John was working on.

Volcanoes National Park was created to preserve the natural setting of Kilauea and Mauna Loa. It is also a refuge for the islands native plants and animals and a link to its human past. The park contains two of the world's most active volcanoes, Kilawea and Mauna Loa and offers insights on the birth of the Hawaiian Islands and views of dramatic volcanic landscapes. If you want to see volcanoes, this national park is the place to go.

The park is extensive and offers visitors' centers, 150 miles of wilderness hiking trails, camping areas and more. When we were there we were able to take some of the hikes, including hiking through a lava tube, seeing the caldera and seeing the active lava flow from Kilauea making its way to the sea.

Kilauea isn't what I imagined it to be. When I thought of volcanoes erupting, the image that came to my mind was of a volcano spewing molten lava from its top. So although Kilauea Volcano has erupted lava almost continuously from its east rift zone since 1983, it is more like small streams of lava slowly oozing out from the side of the volcano. At times the flow is spectacular, but what we saw was pretty small compared to the image I had in my mind. Although not always spectacular, these lava flows have been significant because they have added over 568 acres of new land to the southern shore of Kilauea and covered 8.7 miles of highway with lava as deep as 115 feet. From 1983 to 1991, lava flows repeatedly invaded communities on Kilauea's southern coast. Not only did it bury the highway, it also destroyed 181 houses and a visitor center in the park. This is a shot of the lava flowing into the sea and forming more land mass.

We walked across several areas where you could still see that there had been a road at one time but most of it was now covered with crusty, barren, sharp lava.

Walking out to the area of active lava flow was nteresting. Although the trail was marked, it was too easy for people to stray off the trail. It was hot and dry and we were glad we had taken water. The lava was very uneven and in some places still warm under our feet from lava that had been flowing in previous days. We were told that the lava flow was most spectacular at night so on our second trip to Hawaii, we went at night. Here is one of the pictures we took from about 10 or 12 feet away from the flow.

Most of John's co-workers had gone to see the lava one night about a month after he arrived in Hawaii. He hadn't gone because just that day he had been biking and taken a spill that he was still hurting from. So he never got to see Kilauea - something he had looked forward to with great anticipation.

The most recent eruption of Kilauea took place in March of 2011 and was in a very remote and inaccessible location in the park. Visitors were not able to see the eruption except through video footage. That eruption has now ceased. No one can predict where the next eruption will occur.

Have you ever seen "live" lava flowing?

U S Geological Survey

2011-04-25T09:11:00.001-05:00

U is for USGS. That stands for the United States Geological Survey.

My post is intended as a public "thank you" to the wonderful people who helped us search for our son John. He had been in Hawaii working as an intern for the USGS for about two months before he took off on his hike over the Thanksgiving holiday.

This is what the USGS does (quoted from their official webpage):

"The USGS is a science organization that provides impartial information on the health of our ecosystems and environment, the natural hazards that threaten us, the natural resources we rely on, the impacts of climate and land-use change, and the core science systems that help us provide timely, relevant, and usable information."

John had graduated from Wheaton College in 1999 with a major in Biology. During the summer he had worked on a project through the University of Missouri, St. Louis. And for the fall he had landed the prestigious privilege of working as an intern on a USGS project in Hawaii. It was a big deal for him and he was looking forward to it even though it would barely pay enough to cover his expenses.

He was working on the Palila bird project. The Palila was endangered because of introduced species that had upset the natural ecosystem of its habitat. During the week the team camped up on Mauna Kea and on the weekends they would return to the base camp to wash clothes, enter and analyze data and prepare meals for the coming week.

What we could never have anticipated was the overwhelming support and help we received from the USGS people when John disappeared. They spearheaded one of the most extensive and intense searches for a missing person that had ever been done on the Big Island. (Many people disappear every year just on the Big Island alone.)

We want to publicly thank Paul Banko, the head of the Palila bird project, Steve Dougill, John's immediate supervisor and all of the many, many other USGS personnel who helped with the searches, as well as with many other details we probably don't even know about. The USGS contributed countless man hours to the search, as well as vehicles and perhaps most importantly, their knowledge of the island and its people to help in the searches. We were amazed and will forever be grateful.

Third Culture Kids

2011-04-23T17:10:00.000-05:00

T is for Third Culture Kids. "Who in the world are they?" you might ask. They frequently find themselves asking that same question.

At least one whole book has been written on this subject and I will just give a brief summary here.

Third culture kids are those who are raised in a culture that is not the culture of their parents, although it may include many of the customs of their parents' culture. Often they take on characteristics of the culture in which they are living, yet are not 100% part of it. They identify most closely with other Third Culture Kids instead of with those of either their parents culture or the culture in which they find themselves living.

Our children are third culture kids, two of the three having been born and raised in Brazil. They consider themselves to be more Brazilian than American, but frequently feel like fish out of water in certain situations in each of the cultures. They are neither Brazilian nor American but a curious mixture that makes them members of a rather small group known as third culture kids.

Children of missionaries, of diplomats and of military personnel who live with their families in another culture are all part of this "small" group. They are blessed with a unique perspective, being able to identify and observe both the strengths and weaknesses of each culture. But they are also often emotionally tied to both cultures while belonging to neither and this can definitely be stressful. They are children without a country, yet having at least two "homes."

John was one of these third culture kids. Even though he was born in the United States, most of his growing up years were spent in Brazil. Three of his high school years were spent at boarding school - yet another culture. Returning to the USA for college wasn't easy. There were many challenges and many things, such as how to manage a bank account that were completely foreign to him. Most of the friends he grew close to were other missionary kids (MK's) who understood and had the same kinds of challenges. One of his closest friends was Korean but had been raised by missionary parents who lived in Japan so he had 3 cultures to deal with.

Have you known or do you know any third culture kids?

S is for Searches

2011-04-22T13:06:00.002-05:00

My next posts for the A to Z Challenge will mainly be related to something about our son John.

Searches, searches, searches. When our son failed to return from a hike he had taken across the Kohala over the 1999 Thanksgiving weekend, the county sent out helicopters, mobilized searchers, advised everyone in the vicinity and one of the most extensive searches for a missing person on the Big Island was launched.

Searches continued that whole week involving hundreds of man hours and flight hours. Finally we arrived in Hawaii on the following Sunday - 10 days after John left on his hike. Our arrival gave added impetus to the searches. The authorities had already given up searching, doubting that he had even arrived at the trail head since he had hitchhiked to the area. But the searches continued, spearheaded by the department of the USGS (United States Geological Survey) for which John had been working. We met and strategized and of course their counsel was fundamental to the searches since we knew nothing about the island. We flew to Honolulu for TV interviews in an attempt to find the people or person who had given him the last ride up to the trail head.

Teams were sent out all that next week, distributing flyers, knocking on doors, questioning everyone who was available. We participated to the extent that we could but we were sedentary middle aged parents in no condition to hike the rough terrain where our son had gone. But teams of other young people hiked the trails and were as dedicated to the search as we were.

But it was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

You must understand that the area in which he was hiking was full of deep valleys, lesser valleys, waterfalls that plummeted down the sheer cliffs and precipices that were almost vertical. The vegetation was thick and it was impossible to see the valley floor from helicopters and impossible to search in many areas. Before we arrived in Hawaii, John's boss told us of a bomber that had crashed in that area at the end of World War II. The crew had hiked out across the mountain to safety but it took about 10 years for anyone to find the plane. It had settled under the canopy of the forest in one of the valleys and was "invisible."

We were finally able to hire a private helicopter to help with the search. By that time we had already held a memorial service for John but we weren't ready to abandon the search until we had turned over every stone that was within our reach. So on the last couple of days of December 1999, Rick and several experienced men who knew the area well, flew into the remotest valleys and hiked up the valley floors until they could go no further. But they found not a trace.

Later as I contemplated the extent of the searches, the loss of our son, all of the generous helping hands and feet of those who had helped, I was reminded of the parable Jesus told in Luke 15:8 and 9.

"Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!'"

In the same way that we searched diligently with all the resources we had available to us, so our heavenly Father searches and longs for each one of his creatures. Jesus continues in Luke 15:10 saying:

"Likewise, I say this to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." (New King James version)

Even though our searches for John turned up empty, we are certain that the greatest desire of his heart would be to know that many repented and came into God's Kingdom as a result of hearing his story. That is why we tell it.

Righteousness, Part of Hawaii's State Motto

2011-04-21T11:44:00.000-05:00

"R" is for Righteousness. I chose this word because the state motto of Hawaii is "Perpetuated in Righteousness." The longer version of the state motto literally translates from Hawaiian as, “the life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness.”

The dictionary defines the adjective righteous as acting in accord with divine or moral law; free from guilt or sin. Righteousness is the noun derived from righteous.

So what does the motto mean? It means that the life within the land is determined by the right acting ways of the people within the state and depends upon the people doing the right thing. Right actions in personal life as well as political (state) life can sum up the motto.

Historically, the motto was first thought to reflect the beliefs of the kingdom. King Kamehameha is said to have spoken these words in the early 1800's when he presided over what was known as the Kingdom of Hawaii. The motto has been used for more than two hundred years throughout the state of Hawaii on seals, gates and various key places in the Hawaiian Islands.

I believe that this motto did not come out of thin air but was based upon the beliefs of the original settlers of the Hawaiian Islands. It speaks of their relationship with 'Io, the benign and loving creator god. In Daniel Kikawa's book, Perpetuated in Righteousness, he tells of the first brave adventurers who "discovered" Hawaii.

"A great leap of faith was required to continue on into thousands of miles of empty blue on blue.In the northerly direction of this wonderful star, our ancestors searched for and found our new home. We had finally found the place 'Io had provided for us! Here we worshipped 'Io, in this land so much like Atea's first home." (My notes of clarification: Atea is the Hawaiian equivalent of Adam. They were following a star that was spoken of in their ancient prophecies.)

Throughout Hawaiian culture there are many things that indicate the desire of the Hawaiians to fulfill their state motto. "Aloha," "ohana" and "hanai" are some of those. See the Afterwards section of Kikawa's book for more details.

Have you observed anything in the Hawaiian culture that indicates the fulfillment of their state motto, "Perpetuated in Righteousness?"

Queen Lili'uokalani

2011-04-20T15:57:00.001-05:00

"Q" is for Queen Liliuokalani, the last monarch of the sovereign nation of Hawaii. She reigned from 1891 to 1893, just a little short of 2 years. During that time she sought to restore some of the power that had been lost during her brother's reign. Local sugar planters and businessmen feared a loss of revenue and influence and sought to overthrow the monarchy. To avoid bloodshed, the Queen yielded her throne on January 17, 1893. A provisional government was established at that time. In 1898, Hawaii was annexed to the United States by a resolution signed by President McKinley.

In 1898 Queen Liliuokalani wrote the book, Hawaii's Story by Hawaii's Queen. It was written as an appeal to the conscience of America in an attempt to restore Hawaii as a sovereign land. Here is a quote from the introduction to her book:

"Oh, honest Americans, as Christians hear me for my downtrodden people! Their form of government is as dear to them as yours is precious to you. Quite as warmly as you love your country, so they love theirs. With all your goodly possessions, covering a territory so immense that there yet remain parts unexplored, possessing islands that, although new at hand, had to be neutral ground in time of war, do not covet the little vineyard of Naboth's, so far from your shores, lest the punishment of Ahab fall upon you, if not in your day, in that of your children, for "be not deceived, God is not mocked." The people to whom your fathers told of the living God and taught to call "Father," and whom the sons now seek to despoil and destroy, are crying aloud to Him in their time of trouble; and He will keep His promise, and will listen to the voices of His Hawaiian children lamenting for their homes."

But her poignant plea for justice went unanswered. Queen Liliuokalani died in 1917 at the age of 79.

Pololu, John's Point of Departure

2011-04-19T16:49:00.000-05:00

P is for Pololu Valley and Pololu Valley Overlook. Pololu is at the very end of Hwy 270 on the Big Island and is probably one of the most beautiful and pristine places on the face of the earth. It was also the launch point of our son, John's hike beginning on Thanksgiving Day in 1999. He and some of his colleagues had visited the area a couple of weeks before and John had loved it. They had spent the day and hiked into the second or third valley from Pololu. So when he decided to take a long hike over the Thanksgiving break, that area of the Kohala Mountains was his logical choice.

The hike down into the Pololu Valley is quite steep but the trail is well defined and has plenty of stone "steps" to help with footing. It's an easy hike down to the valley floor, taking about 10 to 15 minutes unless you stop frequently to take pictures of the awesome views. The valley has a stream that comes down out of the mountains and winds through to the ocean. The beach is black sand, so they say. When my husband and I hiked down into the valley several years after our son had disappeared, the beach was made up of rather large black lava rocks. But several places I read talked about the fine black sand beach of Pololu. I wonder if it depends on the time of year whether you see fine sand or large rocks.

At the time of the initial searches in 1999, my husband and I were not in shape and couldn't make the hike down into the valley. Actually it would have been the hike back up that would have been the real challenge. But we did make that hike on a later trip, leaving before dawn in time to catch the sunrise. It was breathtaking; like being in a private cathedral.

When we decided to hold a memorial service for John, the logical place was the hillside overlooking the Pololu. The pastor of the local Baptist church and his family were gracious enough to help us with the details.

Here are some other interesting facts about Pololu Valley. The word Pololū means long spear in the Hawaiian language. Pololū (Hawaiian spelling: Pololū, stressed on the final 'ū') is the northernmost of a series of valleys that form the east coast of Kohala Mountain.

Prior to European colonization, Pololū Valley was renowned for its kalo (taro) farming. A particular variety of kalo (kalo Pololū) was grown here, notable for its crimson stems. Kalo farming was complemented by rice in the 1800s. In the 20th century, though, the valley fell into disuse.

An average of two or three hiking or hunting groups a month need to be flown out of Kohala by emergency helicopter. The mountain is inviting, but the trails are poorly maintained and the terrain is surprisingly hazardous. One resource manager states bluntly "Kohala eats people."

Orchids of Hawaii

2011-04-18T15:30:00.002-05:00

O is for orchids that John Reece loved. When he was ten years old, we went hunting for ferns in the jungle behind our house. He soon lost interest in ferns but discovered the Time-Life book on orchids in the library, brought it home and read it from cover to cover. That began a life-long passion for these beautiful, delicate creations.

When John arrived on the Big Island, his first journal entry told about the orchids on the island. On September 29, 1999 he wrote:

"There is a particular orchid that grows everywhere around here. There are apparently only 3 native Hawaiian orchids, and 4 non-native species that have gone wild. The one I’ve been seeing is terrestrial, has white flowers with purple lip, and grows about 1 meter high. I think it is an introduced species."

After doing a bit of my own research, I confirmed the fact that there are only 3 native Hawaiian orchids and none of them are the flashy, beautiful varieties we think of when we think of an orchid. Experts believe that due to the difficulty of orchid seeds migrating across the vast ocean distance, only 3 varieties managed to make it to the remote islands of Hawaii. For those who may be interested in reading about these native Hawaiian orchids, I'm including a link to another blog that gives detailed information about them. The three native orchid varieties are the Fringed Orchid, Twayblade and Jewel and all three are becoming more and more rare and are considered to be endangered species.

John grew up in Brazil (in the Amazon) so he had plenty of opportunity to develop his knowledge of and passion for orchids. Whenever he and his dad would go out in the boat during high water season, he would collect a few of the orchids he found on the branches. And if trees fell in the jungle or were cut down, he would scour the fallen branches in search of orchids to rescue. He developed quite a collection and cared for them, knew all their names, etc. He was indeed a passionate orchid lover.

After his disappearance, a close friend painted a picture - a collage of the places and things that were significant in his life and of course an orchid was prominent in the painting. We included a photograph of the painting in our book and I am including it here.

Painting done by Julie Eagan Avery

Native Hawaiians

2011-04-18T13:15:00.000-05:00

My apologies to everyone who was looking for my "N" post on Saturday. For the first time during the A to Z Challenge, I didn't get my post written and posted on the day that was scheduled. However, I decided to post it today along with the "O" post. My Saturday turned into a "G" day for GARDENING - which I spent all day doing! So here goes with "N."

N is for Native Hawaiians. There aren't very many who can claim pure Hawaiian blood. In fact, estimates are that there are less than 8,000 pure Hawaiians alive today. This means that native Hawaiians are a minority in their own land.

In 1778 When Captain James Cook arrived in Hawaii there were between 300,000 and 400,000 native Hawaiians. By 1878, the native population was estimated to be between 40,000 and 50,000 people. At that time they still comprised about 75% of the population of Hawaii.

The number of those who are, at least part Hawaiian and who consider themselves to be Hawaiian, has increased steadily since the turn of the century. Today, there are estimated to be between 225,000 and 250,000 people with Hawaiian blood living in Hawaii. The majority of the native Hawaiian people, however, have less than 50% pure Hawaiian blood.

The Hawaiian Islands have become a true melting pot for so many races that they are a mixture of Caucasian, Chinese, Japanese, Hispanic, Filipino and many, many more.

We had the privilege of meeting a number of pure Hawaiians, some helped with the search for our son and some we met later. One pure Hawaiian we were put in contact with in a rather supernatural way, resided in a city close to us. We were able to meet him and see the original journal of one of the first missionaries who landed on the islands.

We met another pure Hawaiian in the airport as we were about to embark upon one of our trips to Hawaii. He looked "Hawaiian" so my husband struck up a conversation with him and discovered that he was indeed a pure Hawaiian and a pastor/missionary who had been ministering on another island in the South Pacific. He was moving back to Hawaii and had been on the mainland for a conference. That was a delightful meeting and we had the privilege of spending more time with him during that visit to Hawaii.

So is it a good thing or a bad thing that 100% pure Hawaiians are diminishing as a race? I leave that for you to decide.

Mauna Kea

2011-04-15T12:10:00.001-05:00

M is for Mauna Kea, the volcano on which John and his team spent their days doing field research for the Palila bird project. The Palila is one of the endangered species on the slopes of Mauna Kea. This is what John wrote about his days doing research as one of the interns on the vegetation team.

"On Tuesday we talked about all aspects of the vegetation part of the project (which we are doing). Today we went through lots of herbarium sheets trying to learn the plants we will need to know on Mauna Kea. Tomorrow we will be going up there for the day to collect some plants. I'm looking forward to seeing what the field conditions will be like on this job."

Later he wrote:

"I just got back from a week in the field. The base camp is at about 7600 ft. on Mauna Kea, the highest mt. in Hawaii. Everything is very dry and dusty up there. When I got back today I felt like I had dirt in every pore."

Mauna Kea ("White Mountain") is a dormant volcano on the island of Hawaii rising 9,750 meters (32,000 ft) from the ocean floor to an altitude of 4,205 meters (13,796 ft) above sea level. It is the highest point in the Pacific Basin, and the highest island-mountain in the world. When measured from its oceanic base, Mauna Kea is over 10,000 m (33,000 ft) tall—significantly taller than Mount Everest. It is one of the oldest of the 5 volcanoes that make up the Big Island of Hawaii.

The world's largest astronomical observatory is housed on the summit of Mauna Kea, with telescopes operated by astronomers from eleven countries. Due to its high altitude, dry environment, and stable airflow, conditions are better for making astronomical observations than any other place in the world.

The broad volcanic landscape of the summit area is made up of cinder cones on a lava plateau. The lower slopes of Mauna Kea are popular for hunting, hiking, sightseeing, and bird watching in an environment that is less hostile than the barren summit area.

In Hawaiian mythology, the peaks of the island of Hawaii are sacred, and Mauna Kea is the most sacred of all. Under the kapu (taboo) system only high-ranking tribal chiefs or ali'i were allowed to visit its peak.

When Europeans arrived in the late 18th century, settlers introduced cattle, sheep and game animals, many of which became feral and began to damage the mountain's ecology. In recent years, concern over the vulnerability of the native species has led to court cases that have forced the Hawaii Department of Land and Natural Resources to eradicate all feral species on the mountain. In fact, shortly after John arrived on the island, he wrote to us telling about a wild pig hunt that was being done by helicopter in an attempt to diminish the feral pig population.

The project John worked on was part of the long term strategy to preserve the habit of the endangered Palila bird. While we were on the Big Island looking for John, his co-workers took us to see their base camp site from which they went up on the mountain to count and evaluate the vegetation that was essential to the survival of the Palila. We enjoyed seeing where he worked. They also showed us the Silver Sword plant, one of the endangered plant species on Mauna Kea.

Lei tradition

2011-04-14T11:52:00.001-05:00

"L" is for lei - a symbol of Hawaiian "aloha." The lei was originally used as decoration by the ali'i (rulers) as well as the common people and was brought to the Hawaiian Islands by the Polynesian settlers from Tahiti. They brought flowering plants with them specifically for making leis.

Tourism in the islands quickly elevated the lei to the symbol of Hawaii to millions of visitors worldwide. Today, visitors can easily bring back the nostalgia of old Hawaii by ordering a traditional flower lei greeting for their arrival at the airport. Greeters welcome visitors with a warm “aloha” and adorn them with beautiful fresh leis. It's a wonderful way to begin a Hawaiian vacation.

Hawaiin leis mark any important event in a person's life. There are leis of grief, and leis of love, leis of love-making, leis of marriage, of dying, and of birthing. There are leis for political, community, social, personal, farming, and religious ceremony. The ancient Hawaiians excelled in the creation of permanent leis, constructed of feathers, ivory, beads, and even teeth.

The proper way to wear a lei is gently draped over the shoulders, hanging down both in front and in back. The only protocols in relation to the giving and receiving of leis is that a lei should never be refused and it should not be taken off in the presence of the giver.

When visitors think of a lei, the plumeria flower lei generally comes to mind since it is widely available at airports and hotels. But plumeria is a relative newcomer. Leis can be made of just about anything, limited only by the maker's imagination. There is the lei pikake with its unequaled perfume, or the lei of the magnificent red or turquoise jade vine. Another lei frequently used, is the maile leaf lei. Historically the maile lei was perhaps the most significant. Among other sacred uses, it was used to signify a peace agreement between opposing chiefs. In a Heiau (temple), the chiefs would symbolically intertwine the green Maile vine, and its completion officially established peace between the two groups.

Lei hua, or seed lei, were made from all types of native seeds or nuts strung on cord. Today kukui lei remain very popular. Made from kukui nuts that have been sanded, polished, punctured and with the nut meat removed, the lei can be blond, dark brown or black in color.

Naturally the lei became an integral part of Hawaii's religious system and offerings of lei can often be seen on the altars of heiaus (temples).

When we held the memorial service for John, we were surprised by the number and variety of leis each one of our family members received. Often at an event such as a graduation, the young person receives so many leis they can't see over them. Although we didn't receive that many, the demonstration of caring and "aloha" as we received each lei touched us deeply. Some of John's co-workers had spent a lot of time collecting the materials and making the leis for us.

Did you know there were leis made of permanent material, not just flower leis?

Kohala and King Kamehameha I

2011-04-13T08:00:00.002-05:00

"K" is for Kohala, also known as the "Kohala Mountains," the name of an extinct volcano on the Big Island of Hawaii. At its highest elevation, Kohala is 5,480 feet above sea level. It is the oldest of five volcanoes that make up the island.

Ages ago a large landslide on the northeastern flank of the volcano removed a massive portion of the mountain, estimated to be as much as a section 20 kilometers wide. The part of the mountain removed by the landslide collapsed into the ocean at a very high speed and traveled as far as 81 miles across the ocean floor. The large sea cliffs on the northeast flank of the volcano mark the headwall of this landslide. There are two districts named North and South Kohala.

This is a photo of the dry side of the Kohala Mts.

This photo was taken from the Ditch trail looking down on the rainy side of the Kohala Mts into the Pololu Valley.

Kohala and King Kamehameha I go together. Known as Kamehameha the Great, the first King of the Kingdom of Hawaii, was born in North Kohala, near Hawi. The exact place as well as the exact year of his birth seem to be up for debate. However, Hawaiian legends claimed that a great king would one day unite the islands, and that the sign of his birth would be a comet. Halley's comet was visible from Hawaiʻi in 1758 and it is likely Kamehameha was born shortly after its appearance.

When the child was born, Alapaʻi the reigning chieftain, ordered him to be killed. One of his priests (kahuna) had warned him that a fiery light in the sky would signal the birth of a "killer of chiefs." Alapaʻi, nervous at the thought of this child eventually usurping his rule, decided to take no chances. Kamehameha's parents, however, had anticipated this. As soon as he was born, he was given into the care of Naeʻole, another noble from Kohala, and disappeared from sight. He was welcomed back by Alapa'i when he was 5 years old.

Another legend tells of a kahuna who prophesied that the man who moved the 7,000-pound Naha Stone would become the greatest king of Hawaii. When Kamehameha was 14, the story goes, he moved the massive rock, and then lifted it and turned it completely over. According to native belief, such a feat indicated superhuman strength and foreshadowed the inevitable conquest of all of Hawai'i.

As Kamehameha I rose to power, he first conquered the various districts of the Big Island, uniting them as one. Then with the aid of a massive army and naval fleet, he conquered the other islands one by one, the final chief submitting to Kamahameha through peaceful negotiations rather than war. Kamehameha I formally established the Kingdom of Hawaiʻi in 1810. Then by developing alliances with the major Pacific colonial powers, Kamehameha preserved Hawaiʻi's independence under his rule. Kamehameha is remembered for the "Law of the Splintered Paddle," which protects human rights of non-combatants in times of battle.

The Hawaiian kingdom enjoyed a period of peace during Kamehameha's reign. The king unified the legal system and used taxes to promote trade with the Americans and Europeans. He enacted laws, specifically one that prohibited any non-native Hawaiians from land ownership, that preserved the independence of Hawaii long after his death. He also did away with the practice of human sacrifice, although he continued to follow the religious practices of his predecessors.

All the sources I researched mentioned that King Kamehameha's final resting place is a mystery. However, some of the people who helped us search for our son confirmed the rumor we had heard that the tombs of the kings of Hawaii are located somewhere in the rough terrain of the Kohala Mountains where our son also found his final resting place.

It was 6 months after the death of Kamehameha the Great, that the bondage of the kapu (taboo) system was broken. Details of this can be found in Daniel Kikawa's book, Perpetuated in Righteousness (p. 153-154). Two wives of Kamehameha the Great along with Kamehameha II openly broke the kapu by eating together. This shocked the Hawaiian people but it sent the unmistakable message that the kapu system was no longer honored by the king and the highest ali'i (ruling class) in the land.

On page 154 of his book Kikawa writes,

"Liholiho (Kamehameha II) sent messengers to all the districts of Hawaii ordering the heiaus desecrated and the images of the gods overthrown.

"Contrary to popular belief, the missionaries did not force the Hawaiian people to desecrate their heiaus and destroy the images of their gods. The Hawaiian people, following the lead of the ali'i, rose up and broke the bondage of that evil system on their own! The overthrow of the kapu system happened six months before the missionaries arrived!

"The One True God, whom the Hawaiian people had worshiped before the coming of Pa'ao and the kapu system, was sovereignly preparing his people to return to Him!"

Have you seen pictures of one of the statues of King Kamehameha I or have you seen one of the actual statues? There are several.

John Reece

2011-04-12T01:00:00.015-05:00

"J" is for John Cameron Reece born in 1977 in Grand Prairie, Texas, the only one of our three children not born in Brazil. He disappeared in the Kohala Mountains on the Big Island of Hawaii in 1999 after leaving to go on a hike on Thanksgiving Day.

John in the lab at Wheaton College

What can I say about John? He was a young man of integrity, self-discipline, uprightness. He was kind and thoughtful and passionately loyal to his friends. But the characteristic that stands out most was his passionate love for the Lord Jesus Christ and his burning desire to share that relationship and hope and love with those around him.

He was an avid reader but avoided "junk" books. He read mainly the kind of books you would find on a list of recommended reading for college bound students. And he read his Bible - probably the only book he took with him on his fateful hike.

Orchids and tropical fish were his primary hobbies. Wherever he went he would set up an aquarium. In Brazil, he and his father built a huge aquarium and he stocked it with tropical fish from the stream just down the road from where we lived. Even in college he had an aquarium in his room. His love for orchids began when he was 10 years old. He read the whole Time Life book on Orchids from cover to cover and then proceeded to become an orchid collector and expert.

Here is an entry from his journal written in Hawaii about orchids:

"There is a particular orchid that grows everywhere around here. There are apparently only 3 native Hawaiian orchids, and 4 non-native species that have gone wild. The one I’ve been seeing is terrestrial, has white flowers with purple lip, and grows about 1 m. high. I think it is an introduced species."

John loved everything about God's creation. Here is another excerpt from his journal about what he observed in Hawaii:

"Yesterday I rode around Crater Rim Drive right nearby here. Some of the craters are huge, and there are a lot of steam vents and the smell of sulphur and everything. The road goes over several recent lava flows, the most recent being 1982 if I remember correctly. It’s amazingly desolate riding over a lava flow, where all you can see is sharp black rock everywhere.

"From what I’ve seen so far, this has to be the most amazing place I’ve ever lived. There’s rainforest, mesa and dry forest all within biking distance, craters with recent lava flows and steam vents nearby, mountains in the distance on clear days, and a perfect sky on clear nights."

The most amazing gift John gave us was his journal, written from 1995 to 1999, the last entry written just 6 days before his hike. It gave us something tangible, something that revealed what he was thinking and how he processed the circumstances and events around him. We have edited it and call it John's Legacy. We plan to make it available as an e-book on Kindle - we'll let you know when.

John's legacy to us was the privilege and honor of being parents to a deep, thoughtful and creative thinker. Although he was generally quiet, he wasn't afraid to express what he truly thought. We always asked his opinion before making a decision and he always asked ours. He was not only our son, but our friend. We may be slightly biased, but he was a godly example to us in so many ways. You can read more about John and about our search for him in our book, Aloha is Forever.

Do you know any young people who are an example to you?

'Io, the true god of the Hawaiians

2011-04-11T01:00:00.008-05:00

My "I" post is about 'Io, the true god of the Hawaiians. Since my husband has included some information about 'Io in our next book, "4 Spiritual Tsunamis," I decided to take excerpts from what he has already written and expand on them just a little to clarify some of the details. So here goes.

"In my short visits to Hawaii I have learned that many native Hawaiians would like to return to their “native” religion. But the religion they want to return to is that oppressive religion which Pa’ao introduced to the Hawaiian people, not the original worship of the one true benevolent creator God – 'Io. (More details about Pa'ao will be in my "P" post.)

"Daniel Kikawa, author of Perpetuated in Righteousness and God of Light, God of Darkness said that the Polynesian peoples, of which the Hawaiian people are a part, had oral traditions passed down from generation to generation even to the present day. He was able to interview some of the elders or Kahunas who told him some of these stories. They had oral genealogies going back all the way to Adam. In fact, in their ancient stories they go all the way to the story of Jonah in the Old Testament. They worshiped the One Supreme Benevolent Creator God named 'Io. 'Io is a linguistic variation of the Hebrew name for Jaweh. Genesis 25:6 says that Abraham had other sons after his wife Sara died, and they were sent off to the East. Daniel Kikawa says that the proto-linguists, and proto-anthropologists (these are the people who study the historical roots of languages and cultures) have determined that the Hawaiian people originally came from the Middle East. This is confirmed by their oral tradition in some of the stories that they tell. Then they migrated to India, and from there to Burma. From Burma they began stretching out into the ocean. Over a thousand years before Jesus was born, the Proto-Polynesians were navigating their canoes and finding isolated islands in the middle of the Pacific. They had navigational charts made out of reeds, shells, and rocks. They studied the waves the winds and the birds and other things to determine where they were going. Around 400 A.D. the first Marquesans reached Hawaii and also Easter Island.

"Around 1300 A.D. the Hawaiians were invaded by a great chieftain king and high priest from what is known today as Bora Bora in Tahiti. His name was Pa’ao. Kikawa writes in his book that the historian, Rudy Mitchell, says that "Pa’ao was a kahuna nui (high preist), ali’i nui (high royalty), famous navigator and a sorcerer of great power. Although this family knew of 'Io, they established a new oppressive religious system with it’s chief place at Taputaputea.” This system, according to Kikawa’s research was a system of taboos, idolatry, human sacrifice, and slavery, things which did not exist in their religion before Pa’ao invaded."

In the same way that Yaweh was never mentioned by name by the Hebrew people, the Hawaiians had many paraphrases they used to refer to 'Io. Some of these were Most Excellent Supreme, The Power of Death, Eternity, Beyond Vision and The One Established. Kikawa says, "These names were titles of the One True God, his true name being too sacred to mention; his name was 'Io." (Perpetuated in Righteousness, p.55.)

Hawaiian Heiau

2011-04-09T18:40:00.002-05:00

My "H" topic has been difficult to choose so I will touch on several. The first will be "heiau." Heiau are pre-Christian places of worship that are found throughout the Hawaiian Islands.

The Hawaiians who originally settled on the islands were peaceful people with few ceremonial rules and no human sacrifice system. In approximately 1300 A.D. a powerful and ruthless chief/ruler named Pa'ao came from Tahiti and conquered the Hawaiians. According to Daniel Kikawa, citing other sources, Pa'ao took over both the priestly and royal roles. On page 142 of his book,
Perpetuated in Righteousness, Kikawa writes this:

"To consolidate his power, Pa'ao instituted human sacrifices and changed the Hawaiians' religious rituals. He built the first luakini (human sacrifice) heiau (temple) on the Big Island (Hawai'i) at Waha'ula. Fornander wrote that "...there was a time before that, when human sacrifices were not only not of common occurrence, and an established rule, but were absolutely prohibited. Kapu ke kanaka na Kane, 'sacred is the man to Kane'..."

"Pa'ao instituted the oppressive kapu (tapu or taboo) system and the worship of elemental spirit gods such as Pele. Fornander says that Pele worship in Hawai'i is only subsequent to this migratory period. The Pele cult was unknown to the purer faith of the older inhabitants and her name does not even appear in the creation accounts."

On page 144 he continues:

"What most people today regard as the religious system of the old Hawaiian people, was not their true religion - it was a foreign religion introduced by the invader Pa'ao."

I'll write more about the god the original Hawaiians worshiped in my entry for Monday and more about Pa'ao on "P" day.

The Hawaiian people endured much suffering and bondage under Pa'ao's religious system. As part of that system, laws and kapu (taboos) governed all activities and commoners were frequently sacrificed or used as shark bait for breaking these taboos. Women for instance, were not allowed to eat bananas and no commoner was allowed to even set foot on the land belonging to the ruling class. (I'm citing Kikawa again.)

It was a dark time in the history of Hawai'i.

On one of our trips to Hawai'i, we visited many of the churches and heiau and other historically important landmarks as we made our way around the Big Island, praying and worshiping our Lord. Toward the end of this visit, we began asking God whether there were any other places He wanted us to go. We read in a guidebook about Mo'okini Heiau and it said it was a place that would give anyone the "heebie-jeebies." We weren't so sure we wanted to go to a place like that, but we were willing to if that was His direction. So we prayed and that night we felt a great peace about going there. It was one of the most isolated and desolate places we have ever experienced. As we arrived, other tourists were leaving so my husband and I were the only ones there. We sensed an aura of victory over the oppressive darkness that had ruled in that place for so many centuries. We marched, sang, prayed and declared the victory and presence of the true and living God over that place and over Hawai'i. We sensed that God had released a measure of authority for us to do this since we had lost our son in the nearby Kohala Mountains. (We tell that story in our book, Aloha is Forever.)

This is a picture of Mo'okini Heiau taken by John Fisher. We took many photos also which don't seem to be on our computer. I will try to scan a few of our own and include them later.

Mo'okini Heiau had been built of volcanic stones that are said to have been passed from hand to hand from the Pololu Valley, over 14 miles away and the starting point of our son's hike. It is said that the temple was completed in one night. It is also the largest of all of the heiau in Hawai'i, about the size of a football field. We saw the smooth, hollowed out stone that was used in the hundreds or even thousands of human sacrifices that were done there, as well as the altars where fresh offerings of flowers, produce, etc. had recently been placed. We left, feeling we had completed that for which God had sent us there.

My other "H" topics were "Hilo," "helicopters," and "Hope 1 transformed into Hope 2." Since this entry turned out to be so long, I'll just mention them and go back to each of them after the A to Z Challenge is over.

Have you ever visited a Hawaiian heiau?

Gratefulness

2011-04-08T16:10:00.000-05:00

I got a late start today due to a sick grandson but I chose to write about gratefulness as my "G" topic. There are so many others beginning with G that it was hard to choose. But one of the things we are overwhelmingly grateful for is the privilege of having had John with us for 22 years. He blessed us and was an example to us in so many ways. He also left behind his journal that he started in his freshman year of college and continued until about 6 days before he left on his hike.

His hike started on Thanksgiving Day 1999 and in his last entry he wrote about the things he was grateful and thankful for. This is the last paragraph of that entry written on November 19, 1999.

Well, since Thanksgiving is coming up, I’m going to work on counting my blessings, which, says Mom, are many. First off, I’m living in Hawaii right near HI Volcanoes National Park. It would be hard to imagine a more unique spot on the planet. I have a job with the U.S. Geological Survey, an important organization that will be spicy on my resume. I’m working in field biology, gaining valuable experience that will help me in my decision of whether to pursue graduate studies, and if so, in what. I’m in better physical condition than I have been since I was 15 ( with the possible exception of times near field day at PQQ). I have an awesome mountain bike for the first time in my life, and so far I haven’t entirely killed myself on it yet. I have two wonderful, supportive parents, and an amazing sister and a cool brother. I have a set of extremely varied experiences that is broader culturally, geographically, and educationally than most people gain in a lifetime, and there is no sign that I will cease or slow down in gaining further experience. Most importantly, I’m a child of God and I know where I’m going – I just need help finding out what to do in the meanwhile.

Yes, we're very grateful for the 22 years we had with John. But we're grateful for so much more. We're grateful for the promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ that assures us that we will see our son again and that we'll have endless time to spend together with him worshiping the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

We're grateful for our other two children and our grandson and for the privilege of spending time together and working together. They are all treasures, each unique in their own way.

We're grateful for having had the privilege of living and working in other cultures for the greater part of our lifetimes - I speak for both myself and my husband. Since 1972 when we first went to "Jungle Camp" in Mexico, we have had the privilege of interacting with various people groups and cultures. Each one has enriched our lives.

But probably most importantly we are grateful to God for pouring His love out upon us and giving to us so many things that we don't deserve out of His storehouses of abundant blessing, rather than giving us what we deserve - which would be death because of our sin. All that we receive from Him daily is pure grace and for that we are extremely grateful.

So what makes you grateful? And come back tomorrow for a bunch of "H" topics. This time I really couldn't choose.

Friends and Family

2011-04-07T10:10:00.000-05:00

F is for friends and family. What would we have done without them? In our time of crisis, friends and family were there to help and support us in every way. We mention many of them in our book and among them are new friends we met while in Hawaii.

When we first received the news on the Monday after Thanksgiving that our son had not returned from his hike in the Kohala Mountains on the Big Island, we contacted our closest friends and prayer warriors to ask them to pray. Since John's boss didn't think there was cause for alarm initially, we didn't send out an alert to everyone. But by the middle of the week, email prayer requests for John's safety and return were going out to all friends and family and to their friends and families.

Later in the week we felt we needed to go to Hawaii to help with the searches. But we had no funds with which to buy tickets. So we prayed and within an hour a family member of a friend contacted us to offer his frequent flyer miles. Since he didn't have enough for both tickets he contacted another acquaintance of ours who provided his miles for the other ticket. By Sunday we were on our way to Hawaii. Later other friends did the same for our two children who had to come from Brazil and they arrived in Hawaii around the middle of December. What would we have done without these generous friends who were touched by the love of God to help us?

Many friends and family members provided funds for the cost of helicopter flights, car rental and miscellaneous expenses. New friends provided lodging and supported us in so many ways it would be impossible to list them all.

Our email provider wasn't working properly so a sister forwarded all of our emails to the larger list of friends and family who were praying throughout the searches. She served as a go-between to make sure all our messages got out and that we also received messages we needed.

Pastor Steve Hedlund and his wife Yumi who we met the first day we went to Pololu, helped organize a memorial service for John. Hilo Missionary Church and all of their members offered support in many ways including sending a group of youth to do a choreographed presentation at the memorial service.

The many wonderful people at the USGS (United States Geological Survey) where John was serving as an intern provided personnel for searches, drivers to take us to key places, and general help in more ways than we probably even knew about while we were there.

Many have said that of all the searches that had been done in Hawaii for missing people, they had never seen such an all out effort as they did for our search for John.

Helicopters and searchers were mobilized, fishermen were alerted, native Hawaiians helped by searching in remote places few people even knew about. Many people whose names we don't even know were a part of this all out effort to locate our son. And for each and every friend, family member and unknown searcher we are forever grateful!

Do you have a good network of friends and family you can depend upon in a crisis?

Eternal Perspective

2011-04-06T09:45:00.004-05:00

E is for eternal perspective. Eternal perspective changes everything. If our minds are set on this earth and an earthly perspective, we will accumulate stuff and avoid losses at all cost. Any loss will be devastating.

It was eternal perspective that helped us the most as we walked through the intensely difficult experience of losing our middle son. When we were in the depths of despair, realizing we would never again see our son on this earth, God reminded us that we would have eternity together with him in God's presence.

One of the most profound movie lines comes from The Gladiator when Maximus says, "What we do here echoes in eternity."

Someone else once compared this life on earth to a dot and eternity to a line that continues on and on and on with no end. And what we do in the dot, the decisions we make, determine what eternity will be like for us. As we tried to get our minds around this concept of eternity, it dawned on me that the length of our lifetime here on earth is relatively insignificant whether it is a day, a year, twenty years or a hundred years. It is still like a dot compared to the ongoing line of eternity.

Some who read this may scoff, thinking that we are just fooling ourselves and that what exists here and now, the things we can see and touch, are the only reality. But there is spiritual reality that will exist for eternity even though we cannot see it at the moment.

The book of I John in chapter 5 verses 11 and 12 states: "And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life." The writer wanted his readers to have the absolute certainty of a life for eternity with God and made it very clear that that was only available to us through Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

Our son John wrote this in his journal just 6 days before he disappeared:

Most importantly, I’m a child of God and I know where I’m going – I just need help finding out what to do in the meanwhile.

Without a shadow of a doubt he was sure of his eternal destination and for him, life here on earth was a temporary habitation. What a difference that makes in the way we look at life, death, relationships, losses - virtually every aspect of life.

My prayer is that I would live my life with the perspective of eternity each and every day. What about you?

The Ditch and Disappeared

2011-04-05T01:00:00.004-05:00

D is for the Ditch and for Disappeared. One of the places a team of searchers looked when our son disappeared in November of 1999 was the Ditch. The Ditch is located in the Kohala Mountains. It was built in 1905 and is a vast network of flumes and ditches, measuring 22 miles in length, and was originally used as a surface irrigation system to distribute water to the sugar cane fields.

At the turn of the last century, there were seven independent plantations cultivating approximately 10,000 acres of sugar cane in the Big Island's district of North Kohala. It takes a ton of water to produce one pound of refined sugar. Because of the drought that plagued the area at that time, some of the plantations were receiving only 15 to 25 inches of rain per year. As a result, yields were low, putting the plantations in financial jeopardy. The solution to the problem seemed simple: transport water from the verdant valleys, where rainfall averaged 150 to 300 inches a year, to the dry plains where the cane fields were located. Engineers evaluated the feasibility of such an irrigation system and recommended against it due to heavy rainfall, rough terrain and unstable soil conditions.

Nevertheless, John Hind, one of the plantation owners, decided to proceed. He found an investor in Sam Parker, the grandson of John Parker (founder of Parker Ranch), who contributed about half of the $695,000 cost of the ditch. The balance of the money came from Hind and a few other entrepreneurs.

The group hired M.M. O'Shaughnessy, a noted civil and hydraulic engineer, to design and oversee the construction of the system. O'Shaughnessy hired 600 men, most of whom were Japanese immigrants, and work began in 1905. At the 1,050-foot elevation in often cold, wet, windy conditions, the laborers used dynamite, picks, shovels, hammers, chisels and their bare hands to painstakingly dig an average of 350 feet through the mountains each 12-hour workday. They lined the tunnels' walls with hand-cut rock and grout, and stabilized the ceilings with concrete.The project took 18 months and the loss of 17 lives.

When it was completed, the Kohala Ditch was hailed as an engineering marvel and received widespread acclaim.

The Ditch was later used by ranches, farms, and homes. A section of the Kohala ditch, which diverted water from Honokane Valley to the sugar cane fields of the North Kohala district, ran along the sides of Pololu Valley. Hikes to and in the ditch were offered by a tour company. A portion of the ditch became a tourist attraction called "Flumin' Da Ditch" offering kayak tours down old Kohala Ditch water flumes, used originally by sugar plantations to transport freshly cut cane. The cane would be cut on higher elevation lands and tossed into the flumes, which would carry the cane down slope to sugar mills on the coast. The flumes fell out of use as large trucks became more prevalent and began to be used to transport cane. Flumin' Da Ditch functioned as a tourist attraction until the flumes and the Ditch were damaged by the 2006 Hawaii earthquake.

After the earthquake in October 2006, the owners of the Kohala Ditch – the Surety Kohala Corporation – finished an evaluation of the damage to, and future safety of, the “Ditch.” They determined that they could not repair the ditch to allow the flumin' the ditch tours to continue safely so the tours have been discontinued. Over 150,000 people in the 10 years prior had enjoyed this 22-mile (35 km) kayaking tour down the old irrigation ditches.

As I understand it, the Ditch was repaired sufficiently by 2008 to once again provide irrigation water for the macadamia nut orchards and other farming ventures in North Kohala. But the structural damage to the Ditch was too extensive to be able to repair it enough to make it safe for tourist ventures.

We had the opportunity in 2004 to hike along the Ditch trail that lined the sides of Pololu, the same trail our son took in 1999 when he disappeared. It was an awesome experience and we could understand why he chose to hike that trail. The breathtaking waterfalls, the jungle growth that reminded him of his home in the Amazon jungle, the stream from which the Ditch received its water, the precipices - everything was awesome.

But he disappeared - never to be seen again.

Do you know anyone who has disappeared? Or did you have the privilege of "Flumin' Da Ditch" when it was still in operation?

Captain Cook

2011-04-04T01:00:00.001-05:00

Captain Cook is a well known figure in the history of Hawaii. Although he is credited with discovering the Hawaiian Islands in 1778, that is only from a European perspective. In reality some very brave and adventurous navigators who possibly originated from Fiji, navigated their way in canoes across the Pacific until they came to the beautiful Hawaiian Islands and settled there.

The Polynesians had chanted geneologies going back to creation and stories telling of their expulsion from the Garden of Eden, the great flood, Abraham, their ancestor and their migration from the middle east to India to the islands of the South Pacific and from there to the Hawaiian Islands that were so similar to the Garden from which their ancestors had been expelled.

These original Hawaiians worshipped 'Io the 'Most High God' who was a benevolent and loving creator. But they did not remember Him well, nor did they know about His Son Jesus. But they had prophecies that had been passed down by the priests of 'Io that the day would come when the knowledge of the true God would return and that would come via a ship with "white wings." That ship would bring a book that would teach them about their true creator God and would set them free from the "Nats" (demons).

Captain Cook's arrival fulfilled some of their prophecies, but not all of them. They initially considered him a deity. But when he set sail and then returned to repair a broken mast, his return was unwelcome and resulted in fights between the Europeans and the Hawaiians. Captain Cook was killed in one of those fights. There is some controversy as to whether the Hawaiians did indeed deify Captain Cook and then took his life when they realized he was not a god. Nevertheless, the Hawaiians continued to wait for the fulfillment of their prophecies.

What do you know about the true history of Hawaii? Is your knowledge based upon the errant "facts" from Michner's historical novel, Hawaii? Find out more about the true history of the Hawaiian people.

Get ready for future posts.

This week:
Monday - Captain Cook
Tuesday - the Ditch
Wednesday - Eternity
Thursday - Friends and Family
Friday - Gratitude
Saturday - Hope, Hilo and Heiau

Big Island

2011-04-02T01:00:00.002-05:00

The Big Island of Hawaii is the largest of the eight major islands that make up the state of Hawaii. The state counts a total of 137 islands including Midway which isn't technically part of the state. Only seven of the eight major islands are populated.

There are approximately 20 of the world's 26 climatic zones found on the Big Island. You can go from desert to savannah to subtropical to tropical rainforest in no time at all. On all of our visits to Hawaii we have been impressed by the non-commercial nature of the Big Island. On our last visit we still found roadside fruit and vegetable stands that were completely unattended, leaving to the honor system the exchange of cash for produce. It had a neighborhood atmosphere that was appealing to us and made us feel right at home unlike Oahu which had much more of a cosmopolitan feel.

Our first visit to the Big Island was December of 1999. Our son John had gone in September to work as an intern there and we kept promising him that we would be coming out to see Hawaii while he was there. Unfortunately, our visit was to try to find him, not to visit him. In that process of searching for him we grew to love the Big Island and its inhabitants.

We've had the privilege of returning to the Big Island twice since then and each time has been special. On one of those occasions we had the opportunity to take a spin around Oahu as well.

Have you ever visited the Big Island? What did you like best about it?

The meaning of Aloha

2011-04-01T00:57:00.001-05:00

Aloha is a word that means so much more than simply "hello" or "goodbye." The Hawaiian dictionary translates "aloha" as love, affection, compassion, mercy, sympathy, pity, kindness, grace, charity and beloved.

Daniel Kikawa states in his book Perpetuated in Righteousness that "aloha is the Hawaiian word for God's unconditional love; what the Greek Bible calls agape." In addition he says, "Aloha means literally, 'The Spirit of the Son of God.'"

So the next time you say or hear the word "aloha" think about its profound meaning. That is why we chose to give our book the title, Aloha is Forever.

What does "aloha" mean to you?

Are You Saving Time?

2011-03-14T15:56:00.001-05:00

Daylight savings time always throws me for a loop. I'm waiting this time to see how long it will take my body to adjust to the one hour time change. When the alarm went off this morning my internal clock was so mis-aligned with it that it took me forever to realize it was the alarm and then even longer to get it turned off. To add insult to injury, my daughter was just getting up herself at the time I got to her house to babysit so she could go to work.

As she got ready we began to reminisce about the one and only time we had "daylight savings time" in the Amazon region of Brazil where we lived for almost 30 years. Most of you may not have stopped to think about this, but the sun rises and sets near the equator at almost the same time of day every day of the year. So when all the clocks were moved forward an hour the only thing it accomplished was to make everyone one hour late for everything. People still ran their lives by the sun, not by the clock. I hate to think how many man hours were wasted instead of saved as a result. We were all oh so thankful when the clocks went back to normal and life did, too.

Since I garden, daylight savings time is actually helpful to me as it is to many people who like to get outside work done after they get home from their day job. But it's never an easy transition...

How about you? What unusual or difficult situation has daylight savings time caused in your life? And does it really save you time?

Interview with the Authors

2011-03-05T11:41:00.000-06:00

Last week a pastor contacted us through The Book Marketing Network. He asked if he could interview us for his blog. This was the first time we had ever been approached about an interview and the result is on now on Pastor Bobby's blog.

We were very gratified by his comments. I'd like to quote just the final paragraph of his comments after the interview as this expresses our hearts in a way that we ourselves hadn't been able to verbalize quite like he did. And it's so true.

"A friend of mine told me one day, not too long after my mother passed away, that he felt sorry for my losing my mother. I politely thanked him and quickly responded that when you lose someone or something, you do not know where they are. But I know exactly where my mother is. Knowing that she was a very devout Christian believer, she is with Christ (to be absent from the body is to be in the presence of God.) Knowing where she is and my father is and my brother is reassures me that I have not lost them."

For more of the interview, go to Pastor Bobby's blog.

Writing as a Couple

2011-02-22T16:15:00.000-06:00

When my husband and I embarked on the task of writing our first book together, it was a challenge, to say the least. But early on in our marriage of almost 40 years, we had learned some things about each others talents, strengths and weaknesses. Whenever either of us wrote something, and we wrote many letters to supporters, prayer/newsletters and other things like that, during those first years of marriage we would very timidly ask the other to read, critique and edit. I say timidly because each of us still had a strong urge to protect ourselves and our delicate egos. Some of those first attempts were a bit rocky and more than once, I had to swallow my pride and say, "Yes, you're right." Hmm...still have to do that once in awhile!

So when we embarked on writing our book together we thought it would be relatively easy considering the extensive history we had in going over each others work. Wrong!

To begin with, I wanted to write an outline. He doesn't believe in outlines. I wanted to write. He wanted to think about what he was going to write. I wanted to do it quickly and get it over with. He seemed to be the "king of procrastination."

So I began putting my thoughts down on computer and the book began to take shape. Fortunately we had written many emails while we were actually experiencing the story we were writing about and we had also taken extensive notes so the basic facts were indisputable. That could have been even more complicated. Just imagine if we had each remembered the facts differently!

As I wrote, he began to join in and finally about 3 years after we started, we had our book in print. And the book flows as though it had been written by one voice - ours. Often its impossible to even know who did the actual writing of particular sections. Even we don't know. And I guess that's a good thing since we wanted it to be OUR story.

Not wanting to sound too boastful, Aloha is Forever, the story of Hope in the Midst of Despair, is a good read. Many have told us they read it in one sitting because they just couldn't put it down. Above all we have gotten feedback that the story exalts our loving heavenly Father and that was what we wanted most!

Comments from Readers

2011-01-31T10:05:00.000-06:00

We have been so encouraged by all of the positive feedback from those who have read our book. Here is what one reader had to say:

"Just finished reading your book - it was very powerful and a tribute to our God. We rejoice that HE is able to make beauty for ashes and give peace through a spirit of heaviness. My heart ached for you as I read your journey and then gave praise as you testified to WHO ...God is and what He has done for us."

And this is what our pastor sent out to the congregation after he read our book:

"Get the Reece's book. You'll be glad you did."

Thank you to all who have taken the time to give us feedback. We'll share more as we get more feedback.

Free Advertising from a Drawing

2011-01-28T11:35:00.000-06:00

We recently won free advertising on 10 sites for a year through a drawing at The Authors Page.

Here are the sites where our book is listed:
The Authors Page
Book Promotions
Short Stories, Great Reads
Book Buzz
New Book & Product Releases
Surfin The City Lights
Author Book Marketing
The Everlasting Kingdom
The Pen
River of God Sayings

Check some of these out for book reviews and other resources for authors.

Grandpa is also a Writer

2011-01-26T11:30:00.001-06:00

Grandma isn't the only writer in this family. Our book Aloha is Forever was co-authored by both of us, Rick and Sharon Reece. In some places in the book it will be difficult to tell whose voice is speaking. In other places we specify so you know without a doubt which one is doing the writing.

But since it is our story, we wanted to tell it together, as one voice as much as possible. And I think we succeeded in a very unique way!

Now Grandpa is working on the sequel to the first book and he is the one doing the majority of the writing. I will be editor and contributor and of course, it will be just as much our story as the first one is. We still haven't come up with a good name for the second book yet, but it may be something like: Four Spiritual Tsunamis that Will Change the World. Unless we can come up with something that is shorter and catchier, this title really tells what the book is about. It tells the spiritual insights into revival that came as a result of losing our son in Hawaii. So get ready to read what Grandpa has to say! He's the real story teller of the family!

Books that Will Inspire You

2011-01-16T17:57:00.002-06:00

Our first shipment of books that will inspire you arrived in December. We were too busy at the time to get this video posted to our blog. It will give you a sneak preview of what the book looks like with a quick flip-through to see the photos and chapter titles. Enjoy!

Lessons on Closure from Fern Hill

2010-12-31T11:02:00.000-06:00

We watched the movie Fern Hill the other night. It got me thinking about the importance of finding closure after the death of a loved one. The movie portrayed a 13 year old boy and his 3 buddies who joined him in his search for closure. His father had been killed in a plane crash when he was 5 years old but no wreckage and no body had ever been found. Although the story is mainly about his search for closure, 2 of his buddies are also in need of closure in a different way. One had a father who walked out of his life, leaving him, his mother and his little sister when he was 12. Now at 13, he was an angry young man who blamed everyone including himself for what his father did. Another one of the buddies had a father who didn't even notice he existed, heaping all of his attention and praise on his brother instead.

So the 4 boys set off for Fern Hill in search of clues, although they aren't really sure what they're looking for. They find the wrecked plane, but more importantly, their adventure changes all of them. Through helping their friend find closure, they all find out what is really important to them and are able to move on with their lives in ways they wouldn't have been able to had they not gone.

Perhaps facing their fears and confronting what seemed to be the worst possible idea - going to Fern Hill, a place shrouded in mystery, intrigue and danger, was exactly what dispelled those fears.

It's not just after a death that we need closure. There are many other situations that require it. Are you facing one of those? What fear or dread do you need to face in order to get beyond that situation and move forward into your destiny and calling?

Finding Closure After a Loved One Dies

2010-12-29T23:39:00.000-06:00

Finding closure after a loved one dies is never an easy task. If you're a parent who loses a child, it's even more complicated because the death of a child is contrary to the normal course of life. When that child or loved one is missing but presumed dead, the task of finding closure becomes monumental. That was what we faced when our 22 year old son disappeared on a hike 11 years ago. Our book, Aloha is Forever, tells the story of our journey of hope. As we found hope in the midst of the deepest despair a parent can face, we share the story so that you too, can find hope no matter what situation you face that has brought you to the brink of despair.

Oranges in Stockings and Other Christmas Trivia

2010-12-17T12:09:00.001-06:00

The other night we were talking about Christmas stockings and my daughter mentioned that she always thought it was strange that she received an orange in her Christmas stocking when she was a child. She's now 35!

It's amazing how we receive and pass on our Christmas traditions from one generation to the next. I hadn't realized until then how important it had been to me to get an orange in my stocking each Christmas when I when I was a child. Apparently it wasn't important to her. And then after she became a teenager, we grew oranges in our yard so we could eat them just about anytime during 6 months out of the year. So that orange-in-the-stocking tradition was no longer important!

Do you have any traditions you received from your parents and passed on to your children?

My Son is Inspiration

2010-12-16T07:27:00.000-06:00

As my husband and I were finishing up writing Aloha is Forever, our second son informed us that he was writing and that his goal for November was to write 30,000 words - or was it 50,000. In any case, it seemed like a great goal. So it inspired my husband to start writing our second book and now by mid-December it is halfway written. Since it took us eleven years to write and publish our first book, this in nothing short of miraculous.

We often find that our children inspire us to deeds beyond what we thought was our capacity. Hmmm...wonder what his book is about anyway!

In what ways have your children inspired you?

Christmas Traditions

2010-12-08T23:55:00.000-06:00

After a shopping trip yesterday with my grandson, I remembered that most of my "shopping" for Christmas as a child was done through the Sears and Penny's Christmas catalogs. We would fight over those catalogs as soon as they arrived and we'd study them until they were dog-eared and opened automatically to the toy section.

We could each pick one item to put on our wish list - all the other things we could expect on Christmas morning would be clothes, socks and other useful things.

If a toy didn't come from the catalog, we might expect it to come from cereal boxtops. Each company offered a baby doll more desirable than its competitors. More than once we all held our breath in hopes that the baby doll that was to go to one of my younger sisters would arrive in time to be under the tree on Christmas morning.

It seemed that another tradition was to get sick with the stomach flu right on Christmas Eve. It was the dreaded scourge of the Christmas season - one that prevented indulging all sorts of wonderful special and tempting treats or perhaps caused by them.

But our traditions have changed - gone are the Christmas catalogs with their special world of enchantment. Now we scour the internet for those hard-to-find gifts while sitting beside a cozy fireplace. Or we haunt the corridors of Walmart, Big Lots, the shopping malls and the Dollar Stores.

The mere idea of saving boxtops and sending them in for a baby doll seems ludicrous in this "give it to me now" society we live in. Wouldn't you agree?

Yesterday I walked the aisles of Walmart as my 4 year old grandson's secretary, noting down items on his Christmas wish list. When we got home, he posted the list on the refrigerator. Unfortunately, I had already gotten his gift - and it wasn't on his list!

Enough rambling! How have your Christmas traditions changed since you were young?

Book Update

2010-12-02T16:10:00.001-06:00

Aloha is Forever; Finding Hope in the Midst of Despair is finally back from the printer. And the website is ready to take orders. It has been a long time coming, but we're happy to announce that we'll be able to ship our book out in time for Christmas.

So if you have a friend who has lost a loved one during this past year or if you know someone who is still grieving their loss, give them a gift of encouragement. Although our book tells our story of our search for our 22 year old son, we also deal with some of the deeper issues of life, grieving, faith, hope and eternity. Our book may help someone you know get over that "hump" by giving them a new perspective.

Destiny

2010-09-22T12:15:00.004-05:00

We watched a movie last night, Prince of Persia, that made me start thinking about "destiny." Is destiny up to fate or God or is it up to us?

I've been wrestling with that question today. And when our son was lost in Hawaii we also struggled with it.

There are some things, I believe, that are "destiny," especially for a child of God. The scriptures are full of declarations of our destiny. Ephesians 1 says:

"He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will."

Romans 8 says:

"For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son."

The Bible is full of declarations of destiny. In fact, at the memorial service for John, we sang a song by Michael Jernigan titled, "This is My Destiny." In his song, Michael pulls in many declarations of destiny pulled from throughout scripture such as: servant, warrior, redeemed, chosen, bride-to-be, cleansed, a new creation, overcomer, victorious, crowned and many, many more.

So on the one hand, while there is a sense of destiny that includes eternity for each and every person who makes Jesus his or her savior and Lord, I wonder how our choices affect the destiny we live out here on this earth. We know for certain that our son's choices enabled him to live a life of integrity while pointing others to the eternal hope and eternal destiny that awaits us.

What do you think? Is our destiny beyond our control or do we make our own?

Update on Aloha is Forever book

2010-09-08T12:49:00.003-05:00

We decided about a year ago that we would get a professional editor to do the final editing of our book before publishing it. So we put it on hold, found an editor, got the estimate and haven't been able to come up with the funds to pay her.

So we were talking and praying the other day and decided that we would print a run of about 100 books in the current version and then maybe do some more editing before publishing again. In this wonderful day of "print-on-demand" printing, we can do that.

Now to carve out the time to do one last read through ourselves before we send it off to the printer.

We'll keep you posted.

Miracles

2010-01-26T16:19:00.002-06:00

A friend of mine posted this quote from Albert Einstein as her status on Facebook the other day. It generated quite a flurry of philosophical comments. What do you think?

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

My Grandson Edited the Book!

2010-01-25T01:48:00.002-06:00

I just recently picked up the book Beakie; The Amazonian Wonderdog to read to my grandson. I had been saving it until he could really appreciate it because it was written by a dear friend and illustrated by the son of another dear friend. It's a gorgeous book - not one to be left in the hands of a small child without supervision. The book is also special because I knew Beakie. She even stayed in my home with her dear, sweet owners.

So I've been reading the Beakie book to my grandson for several days in a row but today when I went to read it he told me right up front that there was one page he didn't like and he wanted me to skip it. Hmmm...my grandson, the editor.

Interestingly the page was about Beakie's first bath and since it's written in first person, and Beakie didn't like his first bath, I guess that's why my grandson didn't like it either.

Why I Gave Up Reading...

2010-01-15T14:37:00.006-06:00

I hope that title didn't shock you too much especially coming from a writer!

The other night my daughter saw an ad for a fiction writing contest and said, "Hey Mom and David, why don't you enter this contest?" My son's reaction surprised even me. He said, "Mom...enter a writing contest?! I'll bet she hasn't read a book in about 18 years!"

Actually, he didn't realize it, but he wasn't too far from the truth. It's been probably about 28 years since I made the decision that my family and my work were more important than reading fiction. You see, I used to be addicted. I would get angry and lash out at anyone in my path if they interrupted me at a crucial point in whatever book I happened to be reading. As a youth, many a night would give way to the dawn with my book still in hand. I would get an hour or two of sleep and then rush off to school - only because the book (fiction) I was reading was too interesting to put down. I was a hopeless addict.

I don't remember all that led up to the decision to put my addiction aside, but I'm sure God had something to do with it. It's not that I haven't read any fiction since that day many years ago, but my escapes into fiction now are limited to vacations or trips involving long airport layovers. Fiction definitely keeps me awake much better than non-fiction.

And once I made that decision, it was easy to keep "on the wagon." I still had non-fiction I could and did read avidly. But non-fiction didn't keep me from being the mother, wife and productive person I really wanted to be. It also helped me eventually come to terms with my explosive anger and pretty much give that over to the Lord, the only One able to handle it.

Later the other evening, as my son was cleaning up the dishes and loading the dishwasher I explained all of this to him. I could tell he was trying to process it - since he is also an addict! And I hope it also made him realize just how great my love is for him and the rest of the members of my family.

BTW - the most recent fiction book I have read was The Shack - read mostly of course, on a recent vacation trip! So it really hasn't been 28 or even 18 years since I've read a book.

Blue Moon

2009-12-31T00:44:00.004-06:00

New Year's eve will present us with a blue moon. I had no idea until my husband and daughter started talking about it tonight at the dinner table. A blue moon is the 13th full moon in one calendar year - or the second full moon in a calendar month. It only occurs "once in a blue moon." I say that, not to be funny, but to illustrate the way an idiomatic expression can become part of our normal understanding without us knowing its origin. Everyone knows that "once in a blue moon" indicates a rare event. I have often used that expression but had no idea why it had that meaning. So around the dinner table, the light bulb turned on and I will use this expression from now on with a much deeper appreciation for its origin. BTW, I did go to Wikipedia to verify the meaning.

But back to the blue moon...it only occurs about once every 2.7 years, but a blue moon on New Year's Eve is even rarer, only occurring about every 20 years. So we're in for a treat. What a fun way to usher in the year 2010!

Just curious...did you already know where this expression came from?

White Christmas

2009-12-27T21:06:00.003-06:00

Since I grew up in Wisconsin with most Christmases being white, it was a special treat this year to have a white Christmas in Texas. The last time we remember a white Christmas in Texas was in 1995 and although it snowed somewhere around Christmas, it probably wasn't on Christmas Eve like this year.

What marked that snowfall in my memory was the fact that our son John was home on break from his first year of college. How delightful it was to watch my family romping in the snow, building a snowman together! They all took great pleasure in playing in the snow, even my husband who was raised in Texas. I don't think I got out and helped with this particular snowman, unless it was to take pictures.

Seeing this year's Christmas Eve snow through the eyes of my almost four year old grandson, made it extra special. He had been asking me for months when it was going to snow. Hmmm...even Grandma didn't have an answer for that question. His excitement was only surpassed by the anticipation of opening all the gifts that were spread out under the tree.

The weather forecast calls for more snow this week and I foresee that this might be a snowman building snow!

Did it snow at your house this Christmas? Or do you have a special memory of a White Christmas?

Special Christmas Memory

2009-12-21T15:04:00.003-06:00

One of the special memories of Christmas when I was growing up was the tradition of the Christmas Eve candlelight service at our church. We would scurry around getting all the last minute preparations done including grinding the gizzard, heart and liver of the turkey to mix in the stuffing. Then we would all bundle up and head out the door for the candlelight service. This normally started at 11:00 and was over by midnight. It was one of those enchanted times with everyone singing carols to the light of just the candles. It was always heartwarming. But the most enchanting of all was to come out of the church to find freshly falling snow. I'm sure that didn't happen every single Christmas eve, but it happened often enough to become one of those special memories. Coming down the church steps and making fresh footprints as the snow crunched underfoot was a very special reminder that the reason God took the form of flesh and dwelt among us was so he could wash us whiter than snow. That's what we celebrate every day of the year, but especially at Christmas time.

What is your special Christmas memory?

Healthy Food Choices

2009-12-03T15:20:00.003-06:00

I just read a post by a friend telling about her son's preference for healthy food. He even asked her to make something healthier for him when he found out that pizza was on the menu. That reminded me of John's interest in healthy food, too. For several years we kept a "food target" on our refrigerator and once in awhile he would get up from the table and go and look at the target to see if what we were having for supper was healthy or not. But in spite of that, he had a weakness for pickles which, incidentally are on the OUTSIDE ring of the food target. Every year we gave him a jar of pickles for Christmas just because he loved them so much. I'm sure that started when he was about 4 or 5 and we were home on a furlough from the mission field. His grandfather would occasionally take him out for a pickle at a place where they were sold out of a huge crock setting on the counter. Come to think of it, I guess his grandfather also had a weakness for pickles...something that skipped a generation since my husband can take 'em or leave 'em. Oh what fond memories! Do you have any food related ones to share?

10 Years Ago

2009-11-29T19:23:00.005-06:00

On Thanksgiving Day 10 years ago our son John set off on a great adventure. On November 19, 1999 he wrote this in his journal.

Next week is Thanksgiving week; there will be another big party on Thursday. I won't be there, just as I haven't been to any of their parties. I feel like a kill-joy, and I don't know how to tell people that I really do enjoy having a good time, just without alcohol, pot, sex, and gossip. For one of the two holidays that might actually have some meaning for me, I will be isolated again out of a need for self-preservation.

Instead of sticking around for the "party," John decided to hike across the valleys of the Kohala on the northern end of the Big Island. He meticulously studied the route and knew that he would not have a clear trail across the whole area. He was prepared to bushwack across the portion that had no trail. He had actually visited the area a few weeks before with some of his colleagues and he found it intriguing. I'm sure it reminded him of his beloved jungles of Brazil where he grew up. There were guava in abundance and he had eaten his fill and reveled in the beauty of the place.

So it was a good choice for a "get-away" and he anticipated he could do the arduous hike in the long 4 day Thanksgiving holiday. He packed his backpack with the essentials. As far as we know he took food for the 4 days, sleeping gear, a machete, miscellaneous camping and cooking gear, his Bible and perhaps some other reading material. He also carried a bamboo pole in which he carried maps. He did not anticipate the heavy rains he was to encounter. He was simply looking for a profitable and enjoyable way to spend the long weekend - an option to preserve his integrity by removing himself from the party scene.

He had written us an e-mail telling of his plans - an e-mail we didn't have access to until after his boss called us Monday evening to tell us John had not returned from his hike.

We often wonder what life would be like if John had not disappeared. I'm sure everyone who has had a loved one go missing can identify. But every Thanksgiving we thank our heavenly Father for the incredible gift that was John and for the 22 wonderful years he was with us.

You can read more of John's story in our e-book Aloha is Forever.

What do you do with an "OOPS?"

2009-08-10T16:48:00.003-05:00

What do you do with an "OOPS" when it involves another person? We just received an email from someone our son mentioned in his journal which is on our website as "John's Legacy." We thought we were being so careful to change every name he mentioned - or at least most of the names and there was one name we forgot to change that just so happened to be critical that we do so. Yikes! How did we let that one slip by? I guess that just highlights the importance of a really good editor!

All we can do now is send a sincere apology and change it as quickly as possible! And hope we don't make the same or a similar mistake again.

Maybe you have an "OOPS" you'd like to share. If so, please feel free!

35 Years Ago

2009-04-08T23:27:00.003-05:00

Today is the anniversary of the day we went to Brazil exactly 35 years ago. Anticipation and excitement along with a healthy dose of fear joined us on that first trip. We were young - yes, we really were quite a long time ago. We naively believed we were going to Brazil, never to return to the USA to live. So we packed up all of our earthly possessions and shipped them all in big metal drums and packing crates. If we had realized there was no house there waiting for us we might not have been so enthusiastic. Most of those possessions remained stored in the barrels for many, many years before we had a place to call home and to unpack them all.

Our son John was one of the main reasons we finally purchased a home. Moving into any and every available home and packing up everything each time we traveled into one of the Indian villages was definitely getting old. And John seemed to be the one who felt it the most. When we finally purchased a home and moved into it, we could see an almost immediate impact on him in a positive way.

The house was small, but the backyard was surrounded on three sides by virgin jungle. It was wonderful. We were frequently visited by monkeys and exotic birds. The strip of jungle around all the houses became the boys' paradise. John and his buddies built tree houses high up in the canopy. (Fortunately we parents never saw them and didn't even know about them until much, much later.)

Brazil became our home and even though John was actually born in the USA, he claimed Brazil as his home...until God called him to his forever home. Read about it in Aloha is Forever.

Never Stop Learning

2009-03-11T23:57:00.002-05:00

My son John had a passion for learning. I'll never forget the summer he decided to do a catch up home school course in math so he wouldn't be behind the rest of his class when he went to boarding school that fall. How I admired his self-discipline and his ability to stick with it and get it finished before the summer was over. He could have done so many other things that were fun - and he did, but never instead of doing his studies. He was the ideal home school parent's dream child.

I thought about that today as my daughter and I have taken on the challenge of attending a child rearing class together since we are jointly rearing and training my grandson. I read through the first lesson this morning in preparation for the class, DVD presentation and discussion on Friday evening.

What are you doing to "never stop learning?"

The Value of One Life

2009-02-25T23:08:00.011-06:00

This evening I was listening to comments on "For Faith and Family" by Dr. Richard Land as I drove home. Dr. Land was our Sunday School teacher here in Dallas a long time ago. I was impressed with his lessons and his wisdom then; even more so now. Among other things he was discussing the health plan provisions that were slipped into the economic stimulus bill unbeknownst to almost everyone. As he talked, I began to ponder the value of a life.

How do we place value on a life? How are we to say that one person's life is more valuable than that of another? Apparently one of the objectives of the new health plan provisions calls for evaluating medical procedures based on the age of the patient. If those procedures are not economically advantageous depending on the age and perceived potential contribution of the patient to society, they would be denied. The next step could be euthanasia. Why not? We have as a society already approved taking the lives of the unborn.

But that's not the point. The point is that any life is valuable. The Bible says in Genesis 1:27,

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

The reason it is valuable is that each and every individual is stamped with God's image. Granted, that image has been perverted and distorted by sin. In fact in Genesis 5:1-3, we read this:

"When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them 'man.' When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image, and he named him Seth."

By the time Seth came on the scene, he had lost the perfect image of God and was born in Adam's likeness - complete with a sin nature. Without going into a long and involved treatise on the fall of man, and his subsequent redemption, I hasten to say that even man full of sin nature inherited from Adam is valuable in God's eyes. So valuable in fact, that God chose to give his only son to pay the penalty for each and every man's sin through his death on the cross.

When our son John Reece disappeared in Hawaii in 1999 we spared no expense to try to find him. Even though we had no funds to get to Hawaii, God opened the doors and through the generosity of acquaintances, we were able to fly to Hawaii and spend almost all of December there helping with the searches. Our total expenses were nothing short of astronomical (close to $20,000) but by the time we left Hawaii every single bill had been paid in full.

Many people have noted that never before had so many resources been mobilized and such an intense search made for someone who was lost in Hawaii. (People getting lost is not an uncommon occurrence there.) We would have given much more to find our son - he was our son and infinitely valuable to us.

In much the same way, God values each and every one of us. He is our Father and He seeks for us diligently, spares no expense, gives His all. Each one of us is infinitely valuable for we are his beloved sons and daughters.

Blessed with Identity

2009-02-23T12:58:00.004-06:00

My little grandson looked up into my eyes yesterday and asked, "Grandma, do you know who I am?" I, of course, wondered what was coming next! Maybe a lion or a dog or a kitty or a horse...? What came out of his mouth next absolutely floored me. He said, "I'm your grandson."

Wow! Talk about knowing who you are!

That gave me the idea for where to go next in writing about blessing. Remember from my recent post that I defined blessing as "empowering to prosper." Prosperity in this sense of the word doesn't mean financial prosperity in the way we often think although it could include that. When someone is prospering, it is tied to an understanding of who they are - their identity. They are at peace with who they are, not wishing they were prettier, shorter, taller, thinner, a girl instead of a boy or a boy instead of a girl. They are at peace with their parents, themselves and their neighbor.

They are not continually striving to measure up to some perceived standard they hope someday to achieve.

So how do we as parents and grandparents accomplish this seeming miraculous state of being in our children or grandchildren? I certainly don't have all the answers, but I would like to suggest that it is crucial that we separate identity from behavior as we teach and discipline our children. Somehow through our words and actions we must affirm who they are (identity) while we place consequences on behavior that we wish to discourage. This is sometimes difficult to do. Well, maybe it's always difficult to do. Nevertheless it must be done in order to teach our children and grandchildren that they are valued, important, OK, etc.

This whole process begins with an understanding of how God views us and how He views our children. A classic passage in Psalm 139 verses 13 & 14 says,

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

This theme is reiterated by the apostle Paul in Ephesians 2:10,

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

When we can look at both ourselves and our children through God's eyes, we have come a long way toward being able to bless our children and empower them to prosper in the knowledge of their identity as precious beings formed by God in just the way He wanted them to be.

Do you know who you are?

Blessing Generations

2009-02-13T09:44:00.003-06:00

We're doing a Blessing Generations seminar this weekend and that got my wheels turning for a post about blessing.

The Bible talks about blessing from cover to cover. Most of us would be hard pressed to define it; I know I was. That is, until I heard this definition: blessing = empower to prosper.

"Empower to prosper" really gets you thinking. What are some practical ways to do this? Who are the people in our lives we would like to empower to prosper?

I have some ideas, but I'd like to hear yours first. My next blog post will be about blessing and I'll share my ideas then.

Who have you blessed (empowered to prosper) today?

Role of faith in losing a loved one

2009-02-11T11:13:00.003-06:00

This is such a big topic I'm sure whole books could be written about it. My discussion of it will be very personal. When you read our book, Aloha is Forever, you'll understand much better the role faith had in our lives when our son disappeared in Hawaii.

We've received a lot of feedback from people stating they were amazed at our faith and that they would never have enough faith to be able to face a similar circumstance. So let me start out by saying that we take no credit at all. There really is nothing special about us! The Bible says in Romans 10:17, "So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God." And in Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

There is no doubt in my mind that faith was the most important ingredient in facing the loss of our son. Losing a loved one whether that be a child, a grandchild, a spouse, a parent or even a pet is one of the most difficult and potentially devastating situations we face in life. And we all face it numerous times.

It can strengthen our faith or destroy it. It's a little bit like the parable Jesus told about the man who built his house on the rock and the one who built his house on the sand in Matthew 7:24-27. The preparation for facing life's difficulties has to be made ahead of time.

I recall struggling with this issue once quite a number of years ago. A woman who had visited our church challenged me one day by saying, "I've done everything I needed to do. I've tithed, I've gone to church regularly, I love my neighbor, etc .... so why isn't God blessing me and giving me all that I need?" Just as an aside, if you listen to many of today's televangelists, this is exactly the message you will hear - "You do this and God will do that for you." Whoops! Although blessing is a biblical principle, trials and tribulations are also. Faith doesn't manipulate; it just is. Thinking that we can get something from God by doing something for Him is flawed. God cares for us because of His great love for us in the same way we care for our children because they are our children and we love them.

If I can say one thing about faith it would be this; your faith must be in a loving God, whether your day is sunny and filled with roses or strewn with the destruction left by a tornado. The fact is that we live in a fallen world filled with anger, hurt, pain and destruction. But God is able to take us beyond all of those things and give us joy, peace and hope in the midst of the trials and tribulations. That is what faith is! Faith believes that in spite of death, there is resurrection; in spite of pain, there is comfort; in spite of loss, there is restoration; in spite of hurt, there is healing; in spite of loss, there is gain; in spite of ashes, there is beauty; in spite of bad, there is good. The list could go on and on.

I can honestly say that because of our son's faith and our faith in a loving, giving, wise and powerful God, we experienced all of these things when John disappeared. And our faith was strengthened, not weakened. We were able to trust God in the midst of the storm and our house stood strong on the rock that is Jesus. But it's because our faith had been tried and tested through many other lesser trials first.

Hebrews 12:2 "Looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith..."

Missing Child - John Reece

2009-02-06T12:19:00.002-06:00

Missing child...that news would strike terror in the heart of any parent or grandparent. Like this morning. I left my grandson in the fenced backyard to play and when I went to check on him he wasn't there. My first reaction was panic. Where could he have gone? When I checked in the front yard I didn't see him either. But when I called, he appeared from beneath the porch where he was busily gathering up broken bricks and piling them in his wheelbarrow. My sigh of relief was audible!

When our son John Reece was reported missing in Hawaii, we did not panic, nor did terror strike our hearts. We had great peace even though he had gone hiking in one of the most treacherous and dangerous areas one could imagine. In fact, when we looked at photos of the area on the internet, our hearts stopped for a second. The 3000 foot cliffs were almost vertical. How could one even hike in an area like that?

But we didn't panic. After all, he was from a long line of adventurers. His father had taken a trip down the Trinity River all alone when he was 17. After a week, he made the headlines instead of JFK on the anniversary of the JFK assasination. They were dredging the river for him and he was completely oblivious to the fact that anyone might even be missing him.

At least John had told us where he was going and what his plans were. And we had no reason to think that things would not turn out just fine and dandy for him just as they had for his father.

For the whole story, see Aloha is Forever (as an e-book).

I welcome your comments - what would your reaction be if you got the news that your child or grandchild was missing.

It's All About the Title

2009-02-04T09:42:00.002-06:00

How does one decide upon a book title? No doubt great insights have been written about this subject but as proven by one post-a-day challenger, it really is all about the title. I know that as I go down the blog roll each day to choose where to visit and where to comment, the appealing subject titles pull me in first.

Ideally that's what we want to have happen with a book title. But how does one come up with a book title that is perfect for the book as well as appealing to the reader? I welcome ideas from you on this subject.

In our case, our book was primarily about hope in the midst of the most devastating experience a parent can ever face. So naturally we thought about using the word "hope" in our title. Our original title was, "Where There is Hope." It was ok, but not particularly great.

But another aspect of our story was its setting in Hawaii. And the more we learned about Hawaii and its spiritual heritage, the more it seemed logical to include part of that cultural aspect in our book title.

As we researched Hawaii's spiritual heritage, we discovered that the first Hawaiians were believers in a benevolent creator God whose name was Io. I'll share more about that in another post, but we also discovered that the word "aloha" had a much more profound meaning than just "hello" and "good-bye." It encompassed a blessing similar to the Old Testament blessing from the Bible that goes something like this, "The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace" (paraphrased). So as we thought about it, using the word "aloha" in our book title seemed logical and fitting. Thus the book became, "Aloha is Forever."

A friend just the other day asked if it wouldn't be more appropriate to use the title, "Aloha Was Forever." But we our response was that our son was welcomed into the Lord's presence forever and that is a present reality, not a past one.

We still have time to change our title if we think of a better one. So be sure and vote in our poll about our book title. And feel free to add your 2 cents worth by adding your comment.

Sites Related to Grief, Loss, Bereavement

2009-02-01T18:20:00.002-06:00

Virtual Blog Tour of Sites Related to Grief, Loss, Bereavement

This list is a wonderful compilation of books, blogs, websites, services, magazine….all related in some manner to loss, grief and bereavement. This is by no means a complete list, but it is a start.

(No endorsement is made and all sites listed are for information purposes only.)

A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss by Elaine Williams, a widow’s journey through loss, grief and renewal. http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com. Blog: http://www.ajourneywelltaken.blogspot.com
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Dave Pipitone - "The Hope Patch", http://www.thehopepatch.com is a way to remember those who have passed on. Articles and resources for living with hope for new life.
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Wendy L. Christensen: An inspirational letter written by Wendy at 15, to her older brother Travis who died at 17. “This letter was therapeutic for me and I have received so many emails and phone calls over it. My brother, Travis, had a huge impact on my life.” "It's the Little Moments that Matter" contains 26 simple steps to enrich every moment of life! http://www.littlemomentsthatmatter.com/travis.html
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Jane Galbraith’s "Baby Boomers Face Grief - Survival and Recovery". Jane’s background is a degree in nursing and 20 years working in the community health care system. If you would like more info on the book you can find the introductory chapter and her bio etc at http://www.trafford.com/05-2319
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Carol Ann Loehr - Website for Understanding Suicide & Depression – http://www.thegiftofkeith.org
On March 29, 1999 , our son Keith died by suicide. At the time of his death I had no knowledge of suicide, and I was inundated with inaccurate and outdated description of suicide and its causes. In 2002, I created a website of information to help comfort and educate survivors of suicide, as well as clergy, health care professionals and counselors. In 2006 I wrote a children's book, “My Uncle Keith Died”. This book helps explain a death by suicide and the illness of depression. Available at Trafford Publishing or call Toll Free (888)232-4444; and Amazon.com.
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Sandy Fox - "I Have No Intention of Saying Goodbye." Sandy interviewed 25 sets of parents about the death of a child and how they have moved on with their lives. Sandy’s story is in the book also. http://www.sandyfoxauthor.comwww.survivinggrief.blogspot.com
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Annette Gonzalez: http://www.marinasabundance.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.orphanat60.com Annette writes and speaks about feeling like an "orphan" at sixty years of age. Her father died five months after her mother. Shares her experiences as a daughter, caregiver, wife and mother.
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The Light Beyond, Lucie Storrs – http://www.thelightbeyond.com Grief forum, inspirational movie and helpful bereavement site. “Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep” ebook of over 250 sympathy poems, quotations and readings for funerals, memorial services and inner peace. “If There's Anything I Can Do” guide for friends and families of the bereaved.
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Research Study on Social Relationships and Loss
A new study on social relationships and loss is being conducted by a doctoral student at The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. You are invited to participate in this important new study investigating interpersonal relationships and how they might have affected your feelings about your loss.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=yXh28AbGKsj9ycoMzVE7ew_3d_3d
Questions or would like the questionnaires sent to you, contact Naomi Edelson by phone at (415) 290-0164 or by email at lossresearch@gmail.com.
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A Masters degree and 24 years of Adoption Social Work did not prepare Chris Mulligan for the devastation after the death of her son, Zac. Her grief journey, revealed through “Afterlife Agreements: A Gift From Beyond” describes in detail the mother/son relationship that continues beyond death through documented signs and communication. Healing and a new life emerged as the result of learning about life lessons, death and the afterlife. http://Afterlifebooks.com
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Harry Line Helping Parents Deal with The Loss of Their Baby - http://the-harry-line-helpingparents.blogspot.com/
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Fran Dorf’s acclaimed, internationally published psychological novels include A Reasonable Madness (Birch Lane, Signet, 1990/91), Flight (Dutton/Signet, 1992/93), and Saving Elijah (Putnam, 2000), which was inspired by the tragic death of Fran’s son, Michael, and which a starred Publisher’s Weekly review called, “a stunning tale that crackles with suspense, dark humor, and provocative questions.” A bereavement and creativity expert and psychotherapist, Fran holds advanced degrees in journalism, psychology, and social work. She is currently working on a book of personal essays called, “How I Lost My Bellybutton and Other Survival Stories"; and writes poetry, essays and articles on a variety of topics including bereavement. Using her unique background and experience, Fran has developed the WRITE TO HEAL WORKSHOP, which employs exercises, and fictional/interrogative techniques, some arising out of themes developed in Saving Elijah, to deepen and clarify self knowledge, stimulate the imagination, and generate meaningful story, memoir, metaphor, and/or image around loss. Fran has conducted the Workshop with a variety of groups including the bereaved, addicted, traumatized, homeless, women’s groups, those dealing with chronic or serious illness, and the mentally ill. Her essay, “My Son’s Name Was Michael – Not Elijah,” will be published in an anthology on therapeutic writing this spring. Fran is also an active philanthropist, and has a blog called THE BRUISED MUSE, an e-zine on “grief, life and everything in between” at http://www.frandorf.com/. For a workshop with your group, or for individual psychotherapy or counseling, contact Fran directly at frandorf@aol.com.
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Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation National Conference on Widowhood, San Diego, California -- July 17-19, 2009
This event will provide a variety of inspiring role models, a hope-filled, supportive environment, and programs focused on giving women the tools they need to rebuild their lives after the devastating loss of a spouse. http://www.sslf.org/conference.html
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Sharon - Grandma is a writer - http://grandmaisawriter.blogspot.com/ Shares thoughts about writing, about life and to promote the book, “Aloha is Forever” about the loss of her son in Hawaii who went on a hike and disappeared. http://www.tnchristianpublishers.com/products
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Tiffany - Life after his Death -- Perspectives encountered from loss. http://acancerwidow.blogspot.com/
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Christa Scalies lost her close friend Jim to suicide in 2005. Christa was on a self-destructive suicidal path but the shock of her friend’s death actually helped save her life. Experiencing the devastation of his sudden passing caused her to examine every detail of her life. Christa embarked on a path of self-healing, learning and laughing. In 2008 she created Giggle On!, a motivational and inspirational web site, to share her story and help empower people to enjoy the lighter and happier sides of life. Christa works to raise money and awareness for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. http://www.giggleon.com.
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Crumbling Walls - a mother grieves the loss of her 18 year old son to suicide - http://crumblingwalls.wordpress.com/
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Janine - Widow and mother of 6 Blog, One Breath at a Time - http://txmomx6.blogspot.com/
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Carol O’Dell – Author “Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir” ISBN – 13:978-1-60164-003-1. http://www.Mothering-Mother.com - Family Advisor at http://www.caring.com/familyadvisor Blog - http://carolodell.wordpress.com
A bitingly humorous and unflinchingly honest memoir. Carol's mother has Parkinson's Disease, Alzheimer’s, and a heart condition and Carol's decision not to put her mother "in one of those homes" has far-reaching consequences for her family. She must learn to Mother her own mother. This refreshing and entertaining memoir will help baby boomers struggling with their own decisions on elder care in the home.
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Widowsbreathe Coaching: Mie Elmhirst, CPCC, PCC provides Coaching, Support and Information for Widows www.widowsbreathe.com
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Keepsakes, Etc. features Sympathy Throws as a bereavement gift for family and friends. They will embroider personalized messages on most throws and ship nationwide. http://www.keepsakes-etc.com/sympathygift.html
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“Room for Two” by Widower Abel Keogh - http://abelkeogh.com/room-for-two/
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Beautiful Earthen Urns - http://spiritkeeper-urns.com/
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Resolving Grief with Hypnosis and EFT -Carol Henderson Certified Hypnotherapist
EFT Practitioner
New Day Hypnotherapy, LLC
Kansas City Area
Carol@NewDayHypno.com
http://www.newdayhypno.com/resolving_grief_with_hypnosis_and_eft.html
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Marsha at “Breathings of the Heart” - Marsha began the blog as an outlet of musings, writings and journaling following the loss of her husband in 2005. Today, it continues to be an extension of her journey... may you enjoy the travels with her.
http://mfisteach.blogspot.com/
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Cathy - Lessons From Lou - http://lessonsfromlou.blogspot.com/ - Cathy’s journey through the brain tumor world with her husband, Lou.
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Ian - Single Parent Dad - http://www.singleparentdad.blogspot.com
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Bill- Dying Man’s Daily Journal - http://hudds53.wordpress.com/
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The Price of Love - http://thepriceoflove.net/ - a father's journey through breast cancer, bereavement and recovery.
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Maureen’s Mission - http://www.maureensmission.org/thebook.php .- Breast Cancer Advocacy – One couple’s journey through misdiagnosis.
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Lisa - Grace Between the Lines - http://bump-on-the-road.blogspot.com/ - Blog continues in memory of Annette, with a new name, Grace Between the Lines by her sister, Lisa.
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Dr. Doris Jeanette, a holistic psychologist with 33 years of experience showing people how to find their own inner strengths, and author of" Opening the Heart", an emotional guide into healing your grieving heart from the bottom outward. http://www.drjeanette.com
Speaker, columnist, radio host and author of Opening the Heart, Overcoming Anxiety Naturally and 14 other self help products.
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Eric Tomei - http://www.lostdadsclub.com/ Help me raise 1 Million dollars for Habitat for Humanity. It was my Dad's favorite charity. Please help me honor his memory and support this great organization. Author “I Miss My Dad.” Eric is an ordinary guy who wrote about her dad to deal with his grief.

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Cindy Bullens – Recording artists and songwriter. http://www.cindybullens.com/workshop/ - “Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth: Grieving Out Loud”.
"When my daughter Jessie died on March 23, 1996, just weeks after her eleventh birthday, I felt my own life end. I couldn't imagine that I could ever again be a productive human being. Cindy has touched thousands of people around the world with Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth's inspired songs of despair and loss, love and hope.”
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Betsy – author ISABELLE'S DREAM - Based on the true story of two sisters, / Isabelle’s Dream/ takes the reader on a heartwarming journey from grief to hope. The book's black-and-white illustrations invite children to bring their own creativity to each page, using crayons, markers, colored pencils, or even glitter glue. After coloring the sisters’ shimmering wings, butterflies, gardens, the earth, and the sea, boys and girls will find several blank activity pages. These pages encourage children to create original drawings or words.
Available through Quality of Life Publishing (www.qolpublishing.com; to order call *1-877-513-0099* during regular business hours Eastern time) or via amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.
In memory of Sophia Zartarian Nagle, author Betsy Bottino Arenella is donating 100 percent of royalties from /Isabelle's Dream/ to the national charitable SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood) Program (www://sudc.org ). To learn more about Sophia's life and the birth of Isabelle's Dream, visit www.isabellesdream.org
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http://widowsvoice-sslf.blogspot.com/ Widow's Voice - A place to find your own voice, to hear other widow's voices...and to find comfort in the fact that you are not alone.
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Grief Sites
http://www.youngwidow.com – Provides a forum for young widows and widowers to connect online, find understanding and validation of their feelings so that they are able to recover their joy for life, reclaim their identities and rebuild their futures.
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http://indygriefloss.com/index.htm - Indianapolis Grief & Loss Consulting Services
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http://mymeaningfullife.com/ - Finding Meaning in Grief & Loss
Ligia M. Houben, is an author, consultant and educator. She consults with individuals and corporations on life transitions with the purpose of providing meaningful tools to transform losses and challenges. She obtained her B.A. from the University of Miami in psychology and Religious Studies and a Masters Degree in religious studies and gerontology from Florida International University. Ligia also has a Graduate Certificate in Loss and Healing from St. Thomas University and is a Certified Grief Counselor, a Certified Addiction Counselor and a Certified Thanatologist: death, dying and bereavement.
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http://www.aarp.org/families/grief_loss/ - AARP – Helpful Links for Those After Loss of a loved one.
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http://www.bereavementmag.com/page.cfm?pageid=9009 - Hope and Healing for the Body, Mind and Spirit. Living with Loss Magazine
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http://www.centerforloss.com/index.php - Center for Loss and Life Transition
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http://www.compassionbooks.com/store/index.php - More than 400 books, videos, and audios to help children and adults through serious illness, death and dying, grief, bereavement, and losses of all kinds, including divorce, suicide, trauma, and violence. Reviewed and selected by knowledgeable professionals.
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http://www.coping-with-loss-and-grief.com/index.html - Grief Counseling, Bereavement Counseling
Individuals, Families, Small Grief Counseling Groups
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http://www.elisabethkublerross.com/index.html - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross - Grief & Bereavement
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http://www.goodbooksnw.com/ - GoodBooksNW is an independent online bookseller specializing in books on divorce, blended families and grief.
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http://www.goodgriefresources.com/ - Bereavement, Loss and Grief Resources
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http://www.griefsjourney.com/index.php?&MMN_position=1:1 - Grief's Journey, where the primary focus is on the bereavement for the loss of a spouse and life partner.
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http://www.groww.org/Branches/gfwo.htm - GROWW For Widowed allows us to be or do whatever it takes to move forward, to know that letting go of the pain is not letting go of the memory of the love.
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http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm - Coping with Grief and Loss, Support for Grieving and Bereavement
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http://www.missfoundation.org/index.html - M.I.S.S. Foundation, support when a child dies
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http://atruecalling-truewonder.blogspot.com/ Truewonder lost her eldest son in 2003, little did I know that starting a blog in 2008 was the healing balm I most needed. It is a cleverly disguised blog about a sustainable farmer...as I have become just that. It started it out as farmer related stories, but my writing revealed to me that my grief, joy experiences were stories that caused many ripples in the lives of others.
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http://www.momminusdad.com/ - Do you struggle to find resources and advice while you juggle your life with the needs of a newly widowed parent? Author Jamieson Haverkampf, gleaned intimate knowledge of balancing her own life with a newly widowed parent, having aided her fifty-six-year-old widowed mother in Virginia, while running her real estate business in California, after the early unpredicted loss of her father to cancer. “Mom Minus Dad”.
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http://www.nmha.org/index.cfm?objectid=C7DF9618-1372-4D20-C807F41CB3E97654 - Coping With Bereavement - Mental Health America
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http://www.onecaringplace.com/Default.asp?bhcd2=1233108612 - Publications to help you help others – One Caring Place
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http://www.ourhouse-grief.org/services.html#opt3 - Our House, Helping Grieving Hearts Heal, Child and Adolescent Grief
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http://www.pamblair.com - Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D., therapist and co-author of “I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One” (Sourcebooks, Inc.) as well as the companion workbook.
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http://www.hospicenet.org/ - Hospice - For patients and families facing life-threatening illness
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http://www.solacehouse.org/ - Solace House - A Center for Grieving Children and their Families.
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Open to Hope Foundation and The Grief Blog at http://www.opentohope.com and http://www.thegriefblog.com - Articles, radio show and information to help those who have suffered a loss.
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Widowslist - A blog and community where widows share problems and triumphs with lists of helpful people, companies and services. http://www.widowslist.com
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Jenslove – http://www.jenslove.com/"> – cofounders Mark Manning and Jessica Caron. A place to celebrate those loved and lost
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Loss, Grief and Bereavement – National Cancer Institute http://www.ncipoet.com/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/bereavement/Patient/page9/”>
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American Widow Project - http://americanwidowproject.org/index.php?link=1 - The American Widow Project is a non-profit organization dedicated to the new generation of those who have lost the heroes of yesterday, today and tomorrow, with an emphasis on healing through sharing stories, tears and laughter………Military Widow to Military Widow
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Garden of Innocence National – Dignified burial for abandoned children http://www.gardenofinnocence.org/keegansstory.html
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Neil Chethik - http://www.neilchethik.com/fatherloss.htm - Author “Father Loss, How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms with the Death of their Dads.”

List compiled by Elaine Williams
Author of "A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss"
http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com
A Widow's journey through loss, grief and renewal

Aloha is Forever - Hope #2

2009-01-27T10:36:00.005-06:00

Shortly after we arrived in Hawaii to help search for our son, John Reece, my husband began talking about how we did not despair because we had two kinds of hope. You can read the whole story in our book, Aloha is Forever.

I described Hope #1 in my last post although there was one thing I left out. I forgot to mention that John was tenacious. He never gave up on anything so we knew that if there was any way he could get out of the Kohala Mountains, he would. We envisioned him dragging himself up the side of one of the steep cliffs inch by inch. We knew he would never give up and that fueled our hope.

As the month of December progressed and it became more and more apparent that we would not find John, Hope #2 began to take priority in our minds and hearts.

Those of you who claim not to believe in God will have to give me some leeway here. We do believe in God and in His ability to fulfill the promises He made in His Word, the Bible. And that was where our Hope #2 was anchored. We knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that if we didn't see our son again here on this earth, we would see him again and be with him in our Heavenly Father's presence for all eternity.

I Thessalonians 4:13-18 sums up this hope better than I could:

"But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep (died), lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words."

So even though the prospect of never seeing John again here in this life was inconceivable, terrible, horrific, devastating and whatever other feelings you can imagine, we were comforted and sustained by our Father's promises.

We knew that John's relationship with God was solid. There was not even a shadow of a doubt about that. He had recognized he was a sinner when he was only 4 years old and he had asked Jesus to forgive him and live in him and through him at that early age and had confirmed his faith in Jesus over the course of his life.

So even though our faith was tested in the fiery furnace, our hope never wavered. That is the power of Hope #2.

Aloha is Forever - Hope #1

2009-01-26T15:25:00.006-06:00

Aloha is Forever was originally titled "Where There is Hope." Shortly after our search for our son John Reece ended, we realized from the feedback we were getting from our emails that many people, even fellow Christians, didn't understand "hope."

In the midst of the most devastating situation we had ever faced, we always had hope. My husband liked to call it Hope #1 and Hope #2. I'll talk about Hope #1 in this post and Hope #2 in my next post.

Our son left on Thanksgiving Day 1999 to cross the Kohala Mountains on the northern tip of the Big Island of Hawaii. He calculated that he could do it in 4 days. However, he didn't return in time for work on Monday following the 4-day holiday.

Our Hope #1 that he would finish the hike successfully was based on his natural ability, his training, his good physical condition and his solid faith in Jesus Christ his personal Lord and Savior.

John had abundant natural ability. He was an outdoorsman, and a rugged, lover of adventure. He had grown up in the Amazon. When he was small we had taken him with us to Indian villages, on adventurous trips, on hikes and on river and camping expeditions. He had all the gear and much outdoor savvy.

While in college, he had taken a survival course. Admittedly the course was in winter survival, but the principles were still the same. He knew survival strategies and techniques.

He was in excellent physical condition. He had gone to Hawaii as a field biology intern with the USGS. After two months of hiking up on Mona Kea counting vegetation, he was as physically fit as he could be. He had also been taking every opportunity to hike around the island and to bike around it with his new mountain bike.

His faith in God was unwavering and had been since childhood. He had grown up believing that God cared about him, had a plan for his life and that he could impact the world as he lived his faith. He'd made a point of spending time reading and studying his Bible daily and meditating and communing in prayer with his Heavenly Father.

All of these factors contributed to our Hope #1 that John would come through his ordeal wiser and better prepared to face life.

But as the month of December progressed, Hope #1 began to diminish and Hope #2 began to replace it. To be continued...

Reading the Classics

2009-01-24T12:04:00.001-06:00

When I was in high school, one day my English teacher handed out a reading list for those who were headed for college. From that day on every book I read HAD to be on that list. Later I acquired 2 more lists for college bound students. Then every book I read HAD to be on at least 2 lists and if it was on all three, all the better.

So I read the classics, and read and read. No wonder my children and now my grandson love to read.

Just curious whether anyone else restricted their literary menu in a similar fashion. Well?

Today Was a Drag

2009-01-22T23:42:00.002-06:00

Today was a drag...but a necessary one. Our dear friend and lifelong encourager called last night to say he was coming to help us get ready for income tax time. THAT is a friend!

So today was spent sorting, organizing, spreadsheeting (I just made up that word :) and generally getting ready for income tax time. He did have an ulterior motive; he needed to figure out whether our organization owed any taxes before the end of January since he is the treasurer.

So although it was a drag, we accomplished almost all that needed to be done - and all in one day. That was and is an amazing miracle.

Need more days to be a drag like today was.

My Grandson's Favorite Book

2009-01-19T23:17:00.002-06:00

My little 2 year old grandson chose one of the most unlikely books as his favorite. I don't remember the title but it's about Teddy Ruxpin and Grubby picking strawberries. Then the little furry fobs come along complaining about losing their color and one of the other characters, (I don't remember his name, although I should after reading it so many times) saves the day by removing the big rock from Rainbow Falls and restoring the waterfall that also restores the colors to the fobs.

To me it had several faults:
1) The names were ridiculous sounding and very hard to pronounce.
2) The writing style was horrendous with absolutely nothing to make the storyline flow.
3) The story itself wasn't fun and to my mind, not even a bit interesting.

But my grandson asks me to read it to him over and over. When he was a little younger he would grab the page like he was grabbing the strawberries and pop them in his mouth saying, "Yum, yum." Now he won't touch a strawberry with a ten foot pole. Nothing to do with the book, I'm sure.

The writer in me totally rebels at such a poorly written book. And the English major in me doubly rebels. What could be the fascination in such a book? Anyone have any ideas?

"Selling" Your Book for Free - Will it Work?

2009-01-16T09:57:00.003-06:00

I've been toying with the idea of giving away our book for free. The only problem with that is that most things are not really valued if they are free. I was thinking about this the other day and came up with another idea. This is the idea: charge for the book, then offer to give a refund after it has been read in exchange for a short review. I would then have the option of publishing (or not) those reviews on my website or blog.

I wonder whether this would actually work. Do any of you have any ideas?

What got me thinking about this was that I just received a free e-book recently that sounded very, very interesting. But I wonder if I will ever actually get around to reading it. Hmmm...

I also signed up yesterday to get the free e-book version of Robert Kiyosaki's latest book along with the option to comment on it and "help" him write it. That one I might actually read.

So what do you think about "selling" your book for free?

Blog Authority vs. Page Rank

2009-01-15T10:51:00.000-06:00

Well, now that I have thoroughly confused some of you...it's time for an apology and to set things right. I went to do some research in technorati.com today and discovered I was using the wrong terminology. I'm afraid I may have led some of you astray by using the term "page rank" rather than "blog authority" which is the correct term when talking about ranking in technorati.

Blog authority shows how many unique links your blog has to other blogs and the higher that number, the higher authority your blog has. Technorati does not count links to other sites, just blogs.

On the other hand "page rank" should be as small as possible. I don't know exactly how that is calculated, but sites like google, yahoo, ebay, amazon, etc. have the best page rank. These are probably all in the top 10. If you're able to get your site into the top 100,000 you have really accomplished something!

All of that being said, it may still be a good idea to get your blog listed in technorati and to "claim it." Here is a link to the FAQ that explains the benefits of claiming your blog: http://support.technorati.com/faq/topic/87. One of the benefits I see is that others can search based on keywords that interest them and find your blog.

The reason I was thinking about technorati when I wrote my previous blogpost, was because I was looking for other blogs based on my keyword so I could interact with them. That's what it's all about, isn't it? Making connections, following and being followed, commenting and receiving comments, building contacts and relationships.

If you have more questions about how all of this works, you can find a wonderful FAQ section under the "support" button on the technorati website.

Cure for Blogging Disease

2009-01-14T22:54:00.006-06:00

Well folks, after writing about blogging disease the other day, someone must have slipped me some medicine that cured me! No, actually I think missing a day or two over the weekend was what did it. Hard to get back in gear again.

Seriously, life has tackled me from every side and I'm feeling a bit like I'm on the bottom of the heap without the ball. Today was one of those days. My dear little companion grandson wasn't as sweet as usual and the more I tried to move in a forward direction, the less I seemed to be making any progress. Now at 11 PM with a kitten sleeping on my lap, computer on my knees and a cozy fire in the fireplace, I'm finally getting some inspiration. Writing is one pursuit for which I require total silence. Actually silence is my preferred mode for just about everything - probably a carryover from being one of eight siblings growing up in a very tiny house.

How about you? How and where do you work best?

Utilizing Technorati

2009-01-13T11:17:00.003-06:00

I know this is going to be a bit on the technical side, but maybe this information will be helpful to someone else. Some months ago, I learned about technorati.com. It is a social networking place for bloggers. I began "claiming" my blogs on technorati and also using technorati to "ping" each blog update. I also used it to search for other blogs that utilize the same or similar keywords. By doing this I quickly discovered many blogs in my "niche" that already had high page ranks. Just a word about page rank - the higher, the better. Then I was able to go to their blogs and comment, thus piggybacking off of their high page rank.

So last night I decided to go into technorati and claim my new blog (this one). Imagine my delight when I discovered that Grandma is a Writer already had a page rank of 4 in just a little over a week. That shows the power of commenting, following, visiting, etc. All my other blogs only have page ranks of 0,1 or 2 after months and even a couple of years of existence. Most of them get very little traffic, if any.

Amazing! I hope this encourages you to rush over to technorati, claim your blog and find out your page rank.

Blogging Disease

2009-01-10T07:25:00.001-06:00

Blogging must be getting to me. I didn't have a chance to write my blog last night so in the middle of the night I woke up wishing I was really awake and could be writing my blog entry for today. Now THAT is crazy!

It reminded me of years ago when I was learning typing in high school. I would dream I was typing, practicing the strokes and fingering in my sleep. Is there anyone else out there like me?

So maybe I've identified a new disease - "blogging disease." What do you think?

Working Best

2009-01-09T09:58:00.004-06:00

Last night I was thinking about what to write about today and I thought about a short training snippet I listened to several months ago. The basic gist of it was this: in order to get the optimum production from your time, you need to know yourself and when you work best. In other words, are you most alert in the morning, afternoon or evening? What are the exact time frames in your day that allow you to be most productive? Then you need to block off those productive times to work on your writing or other productive endeavors. So in other words, if your most productive time is from 10 until 2, don't take time out of that block to make a big meal or do busy work. If it's from 3 until 7, get your supper made before then so you can stay focused and productive during your best working time.

I happen to be a person who is most productive (and creative) from about 10 to 1 and then again from about 4 until midnight. So don't even ask me to put on my thinking cap before 10:00 AM and if you call me at midnight, I'll probably still be working on some project. However, there are rare occasions when I just flake out at about 8:00 PM and might as well just watch a movie or go to bed. If I curl up with a book, I won't last more than 10 minutes when I'm in "flake out" mode!

So what about you? When are you most alert and productive? Plan your day around it and you'll get a lot more done.

Self Publishing

2009-01-08T08:56:00.002-06:00

Today's post will be short. Lots going on today on the home front. We decided to self publish using an on-demand printing service. Does anyone have experience with either on-demand printers or has anyone done self publishing? What are the pros and cons?

Finding Time to Write - Aloha is Forever

2009-01-07T09:01:00.003-06:00

When we started thinking in earnest about writing our book Aloha is Forever, we discovered that it was going to require a lot more focused time and energy than we had anticipated. After all, it was our story. We had lived it. We had all the e-mails and letters that had been sent during the search. We had our journals. What could possibly be difficult about just sitting down and writing?

We were in for a big surprise. Since there were two of us writing one book, it was a challenge not to overlap and repeat things that the other had written. But the challenge of writing together is the subject of another post.

Actually carving out time to write was our biggest challenge. We tried writing while traveling - that sort of worked because we were out of our normal routine and the constant daily demands upon our time.

What really worked well was having access to a vacation property. We began taking working vacations for the specific purpose of writing. It worked! Even though there was TV to distract, we agreed to take short breaks and watch a favorite program, but to spend the majority of our time on writing. There was no internet connection and no emergency surprises to take us away from our focus. It only took a few of these working vacations to get the book "done." Then several more to edit and re-edit.

In the process we discovered that we have several more books to write. Our goal for this year is to get at least one of them written. (My husband has the goal of getting 3 written, but I think that's biting off a bit more than we can chew!)

Busy Days

2009-01-06T00:09:00.006-06:00

I used to think I was busy. I find it laughable now. I'm so busy now that I find myself unable to stay in bed late even if I could.

Caring for my family and most importantly my grandson take top priority. We spend lots of time together while his mother works. He loves to read, go out and see if there is a fresh egg from the chickens, help feed the rabbits, play with the cats and dogs, and watch his new Thomas the Train DVD (all the others got demoted after Christmas). But most of all he likes to sing and he's learned a few new songs from Youtube (also a favorite pastime). His favorites are The Wheels on the Bus, The Itsy, Bitsy Spider and most recently There Was an Old Woman Who Swallowed a Fly. Anyway, he keeps me busy most days, which is why I'm writing this post now so I won't have to worry about it tomorrow. It will be a 10-12 hour marathon of babysitting. I may not have too much time for commenting either tomorrow but I'll do my best!

I also have a winter garden this year as an experiment. Most of the work is covering it with a tarp when it's going to go below 30 degrees and then taking the tarps off again before it gets baked by the sun. Looking forward to fresh spinach salads soon!

Then there is marketing of our book and of other products via the internet.

In the midst of all this, I try to keep hubby on track without derailing myself. And keep him supplied with coffee and all his favorite foods. I cook almost all our meals myself from scratch. He recently convinced me to make a large batch of chili which is one of our favorites. It's been nice to have ready made meals in the freezer.

Then of course there is laundry, house cleaning, spending a little bit of time with the Lord, reading and meditating each morning, e-mails, entertaining, church responsibilities, family seminars - one coming up in mid-January, etc, etc.

I actually used to take naps but I've decided that sleep is way overrated! And all these things that keep me busy are so much fun. I love it! And I thank my Father in heaven every day for good health and lots of energy to enjoy everything He has given me to do.

Ice Storm

2009-01-05T09:39:00.003-06:00

Well, last night I wrote a blog entry and saved it as a draft to publish today, but when I went to publish, it was dated yesterday's date. So I guess today's will be written today! (Next time I'll write them ahead in notepad - or does someone know how to write posts in blogger and publish them at a later date?)

Anyway...today the forecast was an ice storm. That makes me jump for joy because it means I get to stay home and work on blogs, marketing, writing, etc. Hey, I even have leftovers in the refrigerator so I shouldn't have to spend too much time cooking. Couldn't get any better than that!

So let the storm blow and please let me stay in!